Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Loneliness

Comments

Hi - your chapter outline is looking great! It is really clear and easy to follow. Dividing into age groups is a great idea, it highlights how the causes and outcomes of loneliness differ with age. Is there much research on whether the ways to manage it also differ across age groups? Could be interesting to divide that section into age groups too if there is?
This journal article might be useful – it compares the effectiveness of behavioural interventions and the potential benefits of using adjunctive pharmacological treatments: Loneliness: Clinical import and interventions (2015)
This one links in with our current BAS/BIS readings - how reward/punishment sensitivity is linked to loneliness: Multiple mediators of reward and punishment sensitivity on loneliness
Such an important topic – thanks for choosing it! --u3122707 (discuss • contribs) 05:47, 22 August 2017 (UTC)

Hi! Your chapter is looking really good, definitely a solid foundation! I listened to a podcast recently about conceptualising physical contact as a biological need, that talked about how lack of touch can stunt development. It was really interesting. They also spoke about observational research that recorded the frequency of platonic physical contact (eg. a hug, holding hands) across cultures and different countries, and found that the countries in which people engaged in the least physical contact day-to-day had the highest rates of violent crime, and also played more contact sports such as rugby. I haven't been able to find the original study they were referring to, but here's an overview of a similar thing, with some links to academic articles - https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/lifetime-connections/201501/skin-hunger-why-you-need-feed-your-hunger-contact Either way, I think comparing loneliness, and attitudes towards relationships from a cross-cultural perspective could also be interesting! ^forgot to sign off! RaniaLillian (discuss • contribs) 01:29, 25 August 2017 (UTC)

Hi, I really enjoyed reading your chapter. It was informative, cohesive and easy to read. I only have a few suggestions for you.

• You might want to consider adding a hyperlink to the word "ennui", a lot of people would not know what this means and would have to look it up. Linking to wiktionary or wikipedia would make it a simpler process for them.
• I think it may be useful to look at family estrangement and feelings of loneliness. Certain times of the year such as christmas and birthdays can lead to increased feelings of loneliness in people who are experiencing family estrangement. I guess this would fall under the category of bereavement
• The risk of suicide in chronically lonely people may be useful to mention in your chapter. I'm not sure if this suggestion is helpful or would make writing your chapter more complicated but maybe you could just include this in a text box as a fact

I like how you were able to shows the relationship between loneliness and crime in our local area. Good work with the arousal and decreased motivational sections. I found them to be brilliant and especially eloquently worded. I myself am terrible with grammar, I tend to write extremely long sentences that I then need to cut down. Therefore, I can't give you a suggestion on how to fix this, but the sentence "Similarly, a negative outlook, reduced happiness and satisfaction from activities and relationships and increased pessimism have been consistent findings" doesn't look right to me. Overall I think you have a very well put together chapter and you have done a great job so far. Kind regards --EmmaCane28 (discuss • contribs) 08:04, 18 October 2017 (UTC)

Hi, you're chapter is great ! I think you have used an excellent structure to define and explore the concept of the question and then directly answer both parts of the book chapter question "What is loneliness, what does it matter, and how can it be managed?". You've done such a good job that its really hard to provide any useful feedback. The one thing I can recommend is maybe expanding the conclusion to provide recommendations for the general public, using the solutions you identified in the 'Management and Treatment' section, into key take home points. This is to go along with the book theme of "how an aspect of psychological theory and research knowledge can be used to help people live more effective motivational and emotional lives" (taken from assignment overview page). Other than that great job keep it up ! Kind regards, Morgan --MorganSlater (discuss • contribs) 01:39, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

Presentation

Hey! Your page is looking great. Really easy to follow and an interesting topic. One suggestion for your presentation- maybe try adding a few images or graphs/diagrams at the bottom section of your page. This will help to break things up even more-so. Goodluck! --U3117399 (discuss • contribs) 02:36, 1 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback

Hey there - your page looks great thus far! lots of different elements but it ties together well. Following on from the aforementioned comment I think maybe the management and treatment section could be put in coloured box with different boxes for solution 1, 2 and 3. I think this could add an interactive visual element to your chapter and engage the reader and it also separates your chapter into succinct memorable chunks. Great chapter and Good Luck with final editing Jane --U3144362 (discuss • contribs) 09:12, 18 October 2017 (UTC)u3144362 8:12 PM

Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC Excellent User page Created Used effectively Social contribution Excellent looking contributions Links can be improved - the best links go to direct evidence of the contributions made. View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click compare, and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see the book chapter author guidelines. Section headings There were several aspects of the topic development headings that I think are very good and better than the headings used in the current version e.g., importance, causes, management, treatment etc., with some consideration across the lifespan. With the current version, be wary of providing too much generic, definitional material (some is fine because it is part of the question, but just summarise and link to more indepth info), so that this chapter concentrates more on why it matters and what can be done about it. Make sure to link to emotion and emotion theory. Key points Very well developed, with citations. Include wiki links for key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles. Image Very good Consider increasing image size from default Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text References Very good Check capitalisation Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume Resources Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:39, 15 October 2017 (UTC)

General Feedback and Suggestions

Overall a great chapter so far. It’s cohesive, easy to read and flows well across sections. There is a substantial amount of information from high quality references.

There needs to be an improvement in format within the Case Study box under sub section Types of Loneliness. Also add a colon at the end of the word provided and expand on the quotations – provide more description about the context of the quotations.

The boxes of Self-Quiz and Motivational Theory should be different. In making them different, those viewing the page will quickly be able to differentiate between an interactive feature and a non-interactive feature. I suggest even getting rid of the Motivational Theory box and just including the theory within the normal format.

There should be more visual aids in the book chapter. You could include images within the sections describing loneliness across the age groups.

You should also include some interesting facts, as well as important statistics to bring across significance of the issue and to draw interest to the topic. Statistical data about loneliness can be found on the Australian Bureau of Statistics website.

You could also include government intervention on the issue, and talk about different ways that the government is approaching the issue to help lower it’s negative effects on the population. Refer to Australian Bureau of Statistics link.

Ivona Kraljevic (discuss • contribs) 12:31, 18 October 2017 (UTC)Ivona Kraljevic

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this a very good chapter. For additional feedback, see these copyedits. Theory Theory is well covered, although perhaps there could be more integration of theories. What about the potential for pets to help reduce loneliness? The conclusion could be improved by providing some more positive, concrete tips for preventing or reducing loneliness. Theories were well described and explained. Research Lots of useful research is cited, with useful facts and figures. Past research should generally be discussed in the past tense. For ill effects of loneliness, make sure to emphasise that this is for chronic loneliness. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful. Some statements were unreferenced - see the tags Written expression Written expression Some sentences are overly wordy - keep it simple. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. Avoid directional referencing e.g., "As previously mentioned" Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Learning features Interwiki links are well used. Good use of images, feature boxes, and quizzes. Spelling, grammar and proofreading Check and correct use of affect vs. effect Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals -> individual's Spelling can be improved in a couple of places - see the tags. APA style Direct quotes need page numbers.

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but effective presentation. Structure and content Reasonably well selected content - but probably too much content, given that the narration goes fast and the presentation is over the maximum time. The presentation is well structured. Also consider including a Conclusion. The focus on solutions is excellent. Bowlby was cited, but is not in the reference list? Communication Consider leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point. Visual communication is reasonable, although larger font could be used. Production quality The presentation is over the maximum time limit. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the video name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was a bit quiet - review microphone set up. Consider muting the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio. Excellent listing of image sources and use of CC licensed images

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:09, 27 November 2017 (UTC)