Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Ghrelin, leptin, hunger, and eating

Welcome

Thank you for visiting my discussion page for my book chapter Ghrelin, leptin, hunger and eating. I have been live editing my chapter as I find this more helpful. Content on my chapter will be changing.. A LOT! If you have any input for me I would love to hear it. This could include links to Journal articles, interesting videos relevant to my topic, relevant images or even ideas and input about the structure of my chapter so far. Any feedback would be much appreciated, please comment below :) --EmmaCane28 (discuss • contribs) 10:30, 31 August 2017 (UTC)

Quickstart template

Hi EmmaCane28 :) A quick tip that might be helpful: if you want to 'quick start' your chapter check the instructions in the purple box on the Book chapter - Author guidelines page. This adds template material and creates an initial structure, which is what I've done so far to get started on my chapter. Hope this helps! U3012363 (discuss • contribs) 02:20, 14 August 2017 (UTC)

Responding to feedback

Thank you for the useful tip U3012363! It was very helpful, cheers --EmmaCane28 (discuss • contribs) 05:02, 26 August 2017 (UTC)

Initial feedback on topic development

In response to your email question, the overall plan/scope looks appropriate so far. This is a biological psychological topic, so will obviously have a strong basis in hormones, gut, brain structures etc., with appropriate coverage of glucostatic and lipostatic models (maybe also the comprehensive model? - see discussion in the Reeve textbook). So, I think the chapter will be covering the major relevant theoretical perspectives. By all means incorporate references to drive theory, hedonic eating etc. but I think this can be done within the broader framework/scaffold that you've outlined, rather than being featured on their own at a high level (remember you can link out to more detailed coverage of other related models). Better to identify the top theory or couple/few theories pertaining to the topic and to cover them well, than trying to cover lots of different theories.

A couple of other minor suggestions:

• I've made some minor changes to the heading structure and levels to fit with the recommend structure
• Make sure to identify other relevant past chapters and include those links at least in the See also section

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:37, 3 September 2017 (UTC)

Responding to feedback

Thank you James for your advice and feedback, I will look into the comprehensive model and think about how to best link out to cover other theories while keeping the chapter focused on the main topics I need to cover to answer my topic question. Thanks again --EmmaCane28 (discuss • contribs) 00:30, 4 September 2017 (UTC)

Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC Excellent User page Created Used effectively Social contribution Very good The best links go to direct evidence of the contributions made. View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click compare, and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see the book chapter author guidelines. Section headings Simple, clear, logical, theory-based, 2-level structure - well done A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Key points Well thought out and selected (can't cover everything, so be selective about the most important information pertaining to the topic) Exhibits strong theoretical basis with citations Consider how examples could be included Very good use of interwiki links Very good use of feature boxes Image Well used and captioned Consider increasing image size Heading text from default References Good Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume Resources See also Excellent External links Add bullet-points (done now)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:54, 15 October 2017 (UTC)

Tried editing directly but didn't work

EmmaCane28, Gabi here. I tried making some general edits on your chapter i.e. comma use, spelling, capitalisations, but these edits did not go through due to someone else editing. There are lots of unnecessary capitalisation's and a few missing references. If you have a read through, you should be able to see where I am referring to. So far though, your chapter presents well so far and obviously a lot of research has gone into it, good work. One recommendation/suggestion: alter the current order of headings. For example, I think the section "hormones" should go above the "Biological systems associated with hunger and satiety" due to the nature of the hormones section. Introducing the hormones first and then mentioning the bio systems and theories will read much better. Another suggestion is the adding of a diagram/figure of the leptin - ghrelin cycle to ease confusion with all the terms. In a way, adding this figure would make your chapter more presentable. When I get the chance, I will do the direct editing again. --U3117126 (discuss • contribs) 07:48, 18 October 2017 (UTC)

Responding to feedback

Hi Gabi, thank you for the feedback. Thanks also for the suggestion of moving the order of the sections hormones and biological systems. I was thinking of doing this but was unsure. A fresh set of eyes is always helpful. It was me editing the chapter earlier, trying to work out how to embed youtube videos. If you do have time later, I would be forever grateful for the direct edits on my chapter. I am not above admitting I need help with grammar lol. I will look for a diagram/figure on the ghrelin, leptin cycle as what you said about easing confusion makes sense. Kind regards --EmmaCane28 (discuss • contribs) 08:16, 18 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback

Hey Emma, I absolutely love this chapter! Probably the most comprehensive chapter I have read thus far relative to coverage of research. The only suggestion I can make is maybe splitting the chapter quiz into two sections - one part of the quiz under the hormone section and the other under the Theories related to homeostatic feeding section. I have also direct linked your chapter in my 'see also' section as it covers the hormones of ghrelin and leptin which I touch on in my chapter Great Job and Good luck for your final chapter Jane --U3144362 (discuss • contribs) 08:59, 18 October 2017 (UTC)u3144362 7:59PM

Responding to feedback

Hi Jane, thank you for your feedback. I have also direct linked to your chapter in my 'see also' due to your topic also involving the hypothalamus. I must admit I have been checking in with your chapter, as well as a few others, since our topic development stage but I am yet to leave feedback. Since I last looked at your chapter a lot has changed and it looks great so far. I will read your chapter in full tomorrow and leave some feedback for you on your chapters discussion page. Kind regards --EmmaCane28 (discuss • contribs) 11:57, 18 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback

Hi, Great work on the chapter it looks great so far !! In regards to feedback on the case study I think it is an excellent Idea. In terms on integrating it into the chapter I think there are two effective ways you could look at doing this. One is integrating it into the quiz that you have. For example using your first case study paragraph "It's nearing lunch time, and Homer Simpson has been working in section 7G all morning. He suddenly feels so hungry that all he can think about is taking a break so he can eat his packed lunch. His hunger is motivating his thoughts and actions towards seeking out and eating food. How did Homer get to this state? How might his biological systems be contributing to his current motivated state? And what psychological theories can be applied to this situation?" you could then add the quiz after the next section/ subtitle so readers can answer the questions posed. The second way I could see you using the case study is as a narrative to go along with your (excellent!) explanations of what motivates eating. For example under the " Biological systems associated with hunger and satiety" subheading you could have a case study paragraph leading into the content of that section eg "Some biological structures may play a role in moderating Homer's motivation to eat, lets take a look at these structures in detail". You could then conclude the section with the dot point summary that you already have on the page.

Kind regards, Morgan --MorganSlater (discuss • contribs) 01:24, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

Responding to feedback

Hi Morgan, Thank you for the feedback on my chapter and your suggestion regarding the case study. Since I restructured my chapter it really threw off where I was heading with the case study so your advice is very helpful. Kind regards --EmmaCane28 (discuss • contribs) 08:08, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

APA style figure captions

Check out http://learnonline.canberra.edu.au/mod/forum/discuss.php?d=475544 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:21, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

Linking to your chapter

Hello --EmmaCane28, Your chapter is great. I was looking for a link discussing the biological process regarding homeostasis and found yours. I hope you don't mind but I will be linking to your page. I am discussing a topic about feedback in career-development attempting to explain how the biological impacts on our motivational behaviour and you have covered the biological content well, I feel. (This is the first contribution I have made, for some reason was having trouble figuring it out, I hope it works). Cheers, – — … ° ≈ ± − × ÷ ← → · § Pilar M (discuss • contribs) 12:06, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback

Hey EmmaCane28, just had a really quick look at your chapter, it is looking really good so far! You have alot of information and it flows really nicely. One thing I would say is that your case study areas are a bit confusing? Obviously the bottom case study will be added to but you have the case study introduction up the top but then you talk about obesity in the same type of box as the case studies are in? If it's not going to relate to Homers story, maybe change the colour? so that it doesnt look like it is a part of the case study, unless you have the plan the edit and make it part of the Homers story. Good job on it all though! :) Cheers, U3111270 (discuss • contribs) 09:27, 20 October 2017 (UTC)

ps. after reading through your feedback I see someone else already commented on the case study and you have already commented that you are unsure where your case study is going. I do agree with Morgan, integrate the quiz into the case study if you are still thinking of linking everything together.

Quiz and Hyperlink changes

Heya Gabby,

Hope everything is coming together for you well !

My suggestions are thus:

• I noticed that the quizzes answers don't exactly match the text - the exact answers are not given explicitly, i.e. perhaps change one answer on Q1 to "Fundus" and one on Q2 to the two main areas of the Hypothalamus. Alternatively, you could have a single quiz at the end covering answers from the entire material - I can help with this if you would like ;)

• With Wikipedia style hyperlinks, you only link the first mention of a thing, and every other instance of the word is just plain text from then on.

• Finally, you may want to add short bracketed text after the first mention of certain scientific words, like when you mentioned neuropeptide, postprandial, etc. I have added a couple under the Ghrelin and Leptin sections so you can see what I mean.

Good luck!

Regards,

--U3119308 (discuss • contribs) 04:17, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

Hi Gabby, It is great book chapter and very organised and detailed. When I look your topic I have a thought is “Ghrelin, leptin, hunger, and eating” there is something I would interested to see like “weight control or how to be healthy slimmer” as you might also can have a glanced at the cultural aspect of eating habit, for example, In China people like to eat cooked vegetable rather just salad and Chinese consume a lot cooked vegetable in almost every meal. I am one of them. And it’s very different in Australian people like have salad but not cooked vegetable. I would like to spend more time to read your chapter when I have more time. All the best for your chapter.--Rachel Zeng (discuss • contribs) 02:19, 22 October 2017 (UTC)

Social Contribution Thankyou Note

Hello,

I have just had a look at your book chapter, it is so well made! I can really see how much time and effort you put into it. I have been wanting to put in Youtube link like you have done for a while but I didn't think I would be able to figure out how to do it. But from looking at your page on 'edit source' I was able to create my own Youtube link to a TedTalk I found really valuable for my own book chapter. I just wanted you to know that your hard work really payed off for you and it really helped me too! Thankyou so much!

U3117276 (discuss • contribs) 11:58, 20 November 2017 (UTC)

Hi, Thank you so much for your feedback! Please check your discuss page on your chapter :) --EmmaCane28 (discuss • contribs) 05:24, 21 November 2017 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to explain a complex topic in a practical, interesting way. For additional feedback, see these copyedits. Theory Theories were very well explained and integrated, with examples. The case study worked very well. Research Research is well reviewed and integrated. Written expression Written expression Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion, with clear focus question(s) and take-home messages. Layout The chapter was well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Learning features Interwiki links are well used to make the text interactive. However, only link the first occurrence of each key term. Spelling, grammar and proofreading Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes e.g., bodies -> body's The grammar for some sentences could be improved - see the tags. APA style Citations Check and correct APA style for single citations, including where to place commas Check and correct APA style for including multiple citations per point References are not in full APA style e.g., Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an effective, well organised presentation. Structure and content Excellent Overview. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little. Add and narrate a Title slide, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation. Communication Well narrated Some of the text should be larger to make it easier to read Production quality Use the full chapter title and sub-title forthe name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio and video recording quality was excellent. Source of images is acknowledged on the final slide, but not in the Description and its unclear what the copyright license for the image is - there may be copyright violation.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:58, 28 November 2017 (UTC)