Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Exercise and negative emotions

Latest comment: 3 years ago by U3186377 in topic Comments

Comments

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Hi, you have great content so far for your topic and plenty of references to draw upon! Here are some tips:

  • Heading changed to biological effects of physical exercise - more succinct, easier to digest for readers
  • In text citations - if 3 or more authors write first surname then et al., year. This will not use up your word count so quickly and makes sentences less lengthy. I changed this in 5 instances.
  • Fixed up double spacing within text 4 times
  • changed eg to e.g.
  • good use of short quizzes to test memory
  • Add to conclusion and link back to theories of motivation, show why this research is important.
  • I added a link to your first external site, however the second page does not exist. Perhaps go back and check this then link
  • mispelling of participation
  • Italise Figure, in caption under pictures as per APA requirements.

--U3186377 (discusscontribs) 21:19, 17 October 2021 (UTC)Reply


Comments

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Exercise can be incorporated into everyday life by just minor changes. For example walking to the nearby shops instead of driving there, taking the stairs instead of the lift, minor stretching, walking for a few minutes during the break or just having a stroll around your garden in the evening. Wishmi 3/09/17

Feedback

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Hi Morgan, great page thus far, I can see you have considered a breadth of research and theory and you have broken up your chapter into subsections really well. I have a few tips relative to subjects you can employ in your chapter:

  1. Maybe under cognitive effects you could consider cognitive dissonance theory?
  2. For a more comprehensive review you could examine different types of physical exercise e.g. strength and aerobic exercise
  3. Maybe you could address the intensity and duration variables of exercise and if they have a significant impact in mediating negative emotions
  4. One area of exercise which has received exponential growth is the use of biofeedback tools like fitbits, maybe this could be incorporated into the section of what techniques individuals can use? I also noticed that James has suggested to incorporate a case study, maybe you can use this topic to develop one?

Hope these points can help in your chapter! Good Luck --U3144362 (discusscontribs) 08:51, 18 October 2017 (UTC)u3144362 7:50PMReply


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title, sub-title, TOC

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  1. Excellent

User page

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  1. Created
  2. Consider using headings

Social contribution

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  1. One summarised contribution - quality of summary can be improved (didn't make sense to me)
  2. Link to evidence can be improve - suggest using non-mobile link and note that the best links go to direct evidence of the contributions made. View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see the book chapter author guidelines.

Section headings

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  1. Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic.
  2. Use question marks for headings
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points

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  1. Key points are well developed for each section, with some relevant citations.
  2. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  3. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  4. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.

Image

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  1. Excellent

References

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  1. Very good.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct italicisation
    2. Make doi links active hyperlinks
    3. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. Put these external links into a separate external links section
    2. Include links to other relevant book chapters and relevant Wikipedia articles
  2. External links
    1. Links to external websites/resources

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:12, 16 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

Chapter feedback

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Hi I saw your moodle post looking for some feedback. This looks like a really interesting topic and you have set it out well. As our pages are intended for a non psych audience and how they can use this stuff in real life I would imagine there would be a lot of interest in benefits of exercise versus SSRI's for people who are not keen on medication. I found the part you are up to a bit tricky in that I wasnt really sure where to start! If it was me I would begin with the definitions (make sure you keep it fairly brief and link to other pages). The first bit is the toughest to begin then it gets easier. I tried to imagine I was writing it for an actual person who was interested in my topic. It helped me tell the story. Good luck! let me know if you want me to look again before its due. --U3135539 (discusscontribs) 10:47, 18 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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Hi Morgan,

I can see that your chapter is coming together very well. Your chapter is interesting and I can see that you are referencing a lot of good sources. The plans you have added in from 4.0 to 4.4 are comprehensive to answering your topic question. I think you are headed in the right direction, everything you have so far is also very well written and easy to follow.

Kind regards --EmmaCane28 (discusscontribs) 07:59, 19 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

Hi There. You're topic looks like its coming along well! The only thing I would suggest is the use of a few more images. Perhaps in the "What are negative emotions?" section. I think this will really help people engage with the topic. I also noticed you haven't linked any previous book chapter to your "see also" section. I went ahead and had a search for some chapters you might find useful. I suggest having a look at

  • Exercise and mood (Book chapter 2014)
  • Exercise motivations (book chapter 2014)
  • Exercise motivation and personality (Book chapter 2016)

Hope this helps! --U3133258 (discusscontribs) 07:14, 21 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

Adding shorter sub-headings maybe

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Hi,

I read through your chapter and it looks really good. Everything is well researched as well. I would just recommend adding shorter subtitles or headings and then providing a small overview and then branching that into the bigger headings in your chapter. It just makes the layout and the table of contents look more neat and tidy. I was going to direct edit for you but wasn't sure if this was something you'd want to do?

I hope this helps! All the best

Quick Suggestions

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Hi Morgan! I was just reading through your chapter and WOW! You have really out-done yourself when it comes to information and analysis! Very very informative :) I would only make a few suggestions regarding the overall look of your chapter and it usability. The integration of some images would really improve and break up your chapter (I always go straight for the pictures when I am doing any readings haha!) and also some case studies! Your chapter is so specific in the topic that you have chosen so some mock up case studies would really help with overall understanding and again, it would break up the chapter visually.

Hope this helps :) Psychostudent


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter.
  2. The chapter is over the maximum word count - reduce the general material e.g., about negative emotion (link to other relevant material) and concentrate on addressing the focus of the chapter.
  3. The chapter could be improved by providing a more substantial Conclusion, with practical, take-home messages.
  4. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.
  1. The relationship between type of exercise and negative emotion should be more explained and clarified.
  2. Perhaps also consider green exercise.
  3. Theoretical mechanisms were reasonably covered, but the emphasis was more on research findings. Ideally, bring together the theoretical elements of exercise that appear to be causal in alleviating negative emotion.
  1. Relevant research studies are described.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Research findings should usually be described in the past tense.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Written expression
    1. Write for an international, not just Australian audience. Australians only make up 0.33% of the world human population.
  2. Layout
    1. Avoid having sections with only one sub-sections.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Good use of section-located quiz questions.
    2. Interwiki links are well used.
    3. Reasonably good use of images.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading
    1. Avoid overuse of semi-colons where colons should be used.
    2. Spelling can be improved - e.g., see the [spelling?] tags.
  5. APA style
    1. Citations
      1. Check and correct APA style for citations (e.g,. use of commas)
    2. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct italicisation
      2. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an engaging, well organised, interesting presentation.
  1. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  2. Consider providing an Overview slide - what will be covered in this presentation?
  3. Perhaps more could be covered about the theory - i.e., how can/does exercise help to reduce negative emotions - and which negative emotions can it have the greatest impact on?
  4. Perhaps more could be covered about the research - e.g. what size of effect might be expected from 30 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise.
  1. Well narrated - not too fast or two slow.
  2. Video animation is excellent - works well.
  1. The presentation is under the maximum time limit.
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the video name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:53, 27 November 2017 (UTC)Reply

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