Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Drive reduction theory of motivation

Comments

Hi there Archana, I like the simple layout of your book chapter thus far, especially how you have broken down the definition part of your chapter - something I have not seen utilised in other chapters, and also mine for that matter. I was thinking that a good idea would be to incorporate a case study that runs through your chapter which illustrates this theory in daily life. It might also be worth looking into one brian region (i.e. hypothalamus, amygdala, hippocampus etc.) and do an extensive review on this. I also think maybe a flowchart of drive reduction theory may make your page 'pop' and add an interactive element to your chapter! Best of luck Jane --U3144362 (discuss • contribs) 11:24, 14 October 2017 (UTC)u3144362

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:06, 17 October 2017 (UTC)

Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC Title/sub-title casing and layout adjusted to standard formatting User page Created Used effectively Social contribution One summarised with links to evidence Also consider making contributions directly to Wikiversity Use a numbered list for the contributions Section headings Basic, 1-level heading structure - could benefit from further development, perhaps using a 2-level structure. Consider expanding the section about theory and research, perhaps using a more detailed 2-level structure Key points Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations. Theory appears to be well developed - also make sure to cover research. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles. Good to see examples/case studies. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end. Image One image embedded Use APA style for Figure captions Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text References Good, although there is a heavy reliance on books - primary sources should be peer-reviewed journal articles. Move youtube links into External links For full APA style: Use correct italicisation Use correct capitalisation Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume Resources See also Very good Also include Wikiversity links to relevant Motivation and Emotion book chapters Also link to past relevant chapters External links Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:06, 17 October 2017 (UTC)

Another thought

--EmilyWoodward (discuss • contribs) 12:58, 22 October 2017 (UTC) Hi there, Very interesting topic, it looks as though you have done a lot of research into this topic and have some interesting theories listed. I wonder, to make it more personal if it might work to talk about this in the real world. How can we harness drive reduction theory to improve well being? can we?

Hello, I am aware that you book chapter is finished and just wanted to say great job! The page had plenty of information that was insightful and useful. Only thing i would suggest is that more pictures might be needed to make the page more intriguing, however this is unchangeable now so good job! u3141330 (User: U3141330} 22:20 3rd September 2017G(discuss)contribs)

Multimedia

Hey. Just thought I'd say you did awesome with the multimedia presentation. The information and the audio are both clear, and it was all paced really well.

Feedback

Hey there! Super interesting topic. I talked a little bit a drive in my chapter on sexual motivation. If you are still interested in your chapter, Id recommend looking into drive in regard to sexual motivation. Its one of the proposed theories as to why sexual motivation exists. Below is an article I came across in my research

• Mani, S. (2001). Drive: Neurobiological and molecular mechanisms of sexual motivation. donald W. pfaff. The Quarterly Review of Biology, 76(1), 119-119. doi:10.1086/393853

Another thing I recommend is adding hyperlinks to relevant wikipedia pages within your actual text - so that readers have the ease of seeking out additional information as they stumble across a phrase or word that they don't understand.

Anyway, I hope this helps! Good luck with your final results.

Demibree (discuss • contribs) 23:07, 18 November 2017 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this presentation makes effective use of simple tools. Structure and content Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little. Excellent Overview The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages - the quote was a bit weak in terms of demonstrating a good understanding of the psychological theory and research that applies to the topic. Communication Well paced narration, with excellent intonation. Limited use of visual aids - e.g., the second last slide is displayed for over a minute - consider using additional slides. Production quality Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the video name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio and video recording using basic but effective production techniques. Visual aids were basic e.g., no images.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:14, 27 November 2017 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter. For additional feedback, see these copyedits. Theory Overview - drive theory is part of learning theory? (Explain - citation?) This chapter is overly reliant on internet sources. Instead, use primary, peer-reviewed sources. Where original sources are cited (e.g., Maslow, 1943), I doubt they were actually consulted and probably should be secondary citations. The basic theory is well described with examples. sources. Research Basic but sufficient coverage of research involving the relation between the target constructs is provided. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful. Written expression Written expression Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses. Use abbreviations sparingly. Do not use abbreviations for minor terms that aren't used very much in the chapter or familiar to an international audience (e.g., CIT). Layout See earlier comments about heading casing. Consider structuring some content into sub-headings. Learning features Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive. Embedding interwiki links to other related book chapters would also demonstrate greater integration with the broader Motivation and Emotion book project. Basic use of images. No use of tables. Good use of quizzes. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's). Check and correct use of commas (e.g., after e.g.,). Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the tags). The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Check and correct consistency of written expression (e.g., Drive reduction vs. Drive-Reduction). More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard. APA style Use APA style for Figure captions. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text. Direct quotes are over-used - it is usually better to express concepts in your own words, with relevant citations, in order to demonstrate your own depth of understanding. Direct quotes need page numbers. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10). Citations Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. References are not in full APA style e.g., Check and correct capitalisation. Check and correct italicisation. Check and correct how to cite internet sources. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.