Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Vocational motivation and personality
Comments
editHi there, Great chapter! It is interesting and reads really well. I managed to find a spot where you had missed the 'i' in 'it' and fixed up the typo. Couldn't find anything else to critique. Great work!--U3119842 (discuss • contribs) 09:35, 16 October 2016 (UTC)
Hi there! Your chapter looks fantastic; you've broken up the text really well with images, coloured boxes, and tables. There's a few places I noticed commas were missing, which I have fixed for you.
In apa style, you generally shouldn't use parentheses back-to-back - so where you have "(commonly abbreviated to RIASEC) (a description of each type is provided in Table 2).", the double parentheses should be amalgamated into one. --> (commonly abbreviated to RIASEC; a description of each type is provided in Table 2). I have fixed the places where you have done this in your chapter.
There are a few times where you have written two sentences that appear to be linked; perhaps you could enhance the flow of your text by connecting these sentences by semi-colons, rather than leaving them separated:
E.g., "It is important to also recognise the role that culture plays in shaping personality. Not just in terms of the experiences that we have but also in terms of the values and behaviours that are valued and rewarded within a particular culture (Burger, 2015)." --> change to: "It is important to also recognise the role that culture plays in shaping personality; not just in terms of the experiences that we have but also in terms of the values and behaviours that are valued and rewarded within a particular culture (Burger, 2015)."
E.g., "A meta-analysis by Tsabari, Tziner, and Meir (2005) confirmed that greater person-environment fit is associated with job satisfaction and performance. However, the effect size was small (congruence-satisfaction correlation of .17)." --> change to: "A meta-analysis by Tsabari, Tziner, and Meir (2005) confirmed that greater person-environment fit is associated with job satisfaction and performance; however, the effect size was small (congruence-satisfaction correlation of .17)."
E.g., "Gottfredson, Jones, and Holland (1993) explored the relationship between Holland's VPI and the NEO on a sample of 725 U.S Navy trainees, and found small to moderate correlations. Though they noted that the degree of overlap was too small to substitute one measure for the other." --> change to "Gottfredson, Jones, and Holland (1993) explored the relationship between Holland's VPI and the NEO on a sample of 725 U.S Navy trainees, and found small to moderate correlations; though, they noted that the degree of overlap was too small to substitute one measure for the other."
I feel the "person-environment fit" box should be under the "theoretical explanations for vocational motivation" section, rather than the "what is vocational motivation?" section, as they are talking about the same concept; perhaps you could combine the quote and the information in the box together?
This sentence is a little confusing at first, I had to re-read it to understand what you were saying. "Prediger (1982) offered a reconceptualised model of Holland's theory by demonstrating that two work task dimensions underlie Holland's hexagon: data vs ideas and things vs people".
Perhaps you could re-word it, for example: "Prediger (1982) offered a reconceptualised model of Holland's theory, demonstrating the existence of two underlying work task dimensions of Holland's hexagon: data vs ideas and things vs people".
This sentence could also be re-worded, to ensure that it conveys the meaning you want: "They also found Neuroticism to be moderately but negatively correlated with all RIASEC types, a trait which is likely to impact on job satisfaction and work adjustment." --> E.g., change to "They also found Neuroticism, a trait which is likely to impact on job satisfaction and work adjustment, to be moderately, yet negatively, correlated with all RIASEC types."
In your section "Holland's model and the five factor model (FFM) of personality", perhaps you could bold you listing numbers to make this section easier to read. E.g., A meta-analysis of 12 studies conducted by Larson, Rottinghaus, and Borgen (2002), found five substantial and expected correlations for men and women among Holland's personality types and the five factor personality domains. Significant correlations were found for 1) Artistic-Openness (r=.48); 2) Enterprising– Extraversion (r =.41); 3) Social–Extraversion (r =.31); 4) Investigative–Openness (r =.28); and 5) Social–Agreeableness (r =.19).
I hope you find these suggestions useful :) --U3100368 (discuss • contribs) 01:58, 17 October 2016 (UTC)
Thanks so much for taking the time to provide such detailed feedback. Your suggestions were really helpful. It really pays to have another set of eyes review your work. Bec
Some suggestions
editI took a quick look, Bec - some suggestions:
- Merge the "What is personality?" material into "Personality theory" - doesn't need a separate headings.
- Mention all theories that are covered in the Overview.
- Use bullet points in "See also" and "External links"
- Avoid having only one sub-section e.g., remove heading for "5.1.1 Holland's Hexagon"
- Review structure/headings and simplify e.g., Overview, Personality, Vocational motivation, Relationship between personality and vocational motivation
-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:03, 20 October 2016 (UTC)
Thanks for this feedback James, greatly appreciated. Bec
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-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:31, 15 November 2016 (UTC)
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