Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Sexual assault non-reporting motivation

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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Hi, looks as if your page is coming along well! I don't know if you are going to talk about treatment options for victims, if you are I have included a couple of articles on EMDR which I found to be a good starting point. Best of luck with your chapter. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3951033/ http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fnhum.2014.01035/full--U3090066 (discusscontribs) 19:13, 10 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

PTSD section

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Hey there,

I was looking through your chapter and noticed you have a lot of subtitles especially in the PTSD section. To make it neater, you could used a table, which could free up space and make it easier for the reader.

Otherwise looks great. --Muzz2016 (discusscontribs) 08:44, 13 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

Layout

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Hi, your book chapter is looking great! you have a lot of information which is excellent but maybe try breaking the big blocks of text up with some images or coloured templates. This makes it easier to read and also more engaging as a presentation. Good luck!U3115468 (discusscontribs) 22:45, 14 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

Great Chapter

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Hi :) I have really enjoyed reading your chapter, such an interesting but important topic!! I hope you don't mind but I have fixed a few small grammatical errors in your chapter, mostly adding hyphens for the word 'well-being'  :) It is coming along great, keep up the good work.


--U3121176 (discusscontribs) 02:03, 16 October 2016 (UTC) NikkiReply

Hi there,

Fantastic chapter! I recently watched a programme on Sunday night about sexual assault on university campus's and was really curious about why victims don't speak up. Your chapter really cleared it all up for me! I fixed up a spelling error and inserted missing commas. I couldn't find much to critique apart from a couple of sentences that might need some modifying

I found this one here under informal support networks a bit hard to follow -->The most common reactions that prevent disclosure to additional sources of assistance or in order to begin legal proceedings are blaming victims for the assault occurring or doubting the victim’s disclosure.

I think this sentence here under Learned helplessness might also need to be restructured -->The observations and similar research conducted into the behaviour of individuals in repeatedly exposed to traumatic situations has demonstrated that learned helplessness has de-motivational consequences on human behaviour.

Hope this helps! Good luck! --U3119842 (discusscontribs) 09:14, 16 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

PTSD Section

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Hi Kate,

Great book chapter! As another person suggested, maybe using a table for the PTSD section could help to improve its readability. I also thought that it could be expanded a little more to detail how PTSD actually effects people's motivation to report sexual assualt, as so far you've mainly discussed the symptoms. The following journal articles may help with this :

Thanks, Jenna --Qt3141 (discusscontribs) 10:42, 16 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

General feedback

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I really like your chapter! it's very interesting and well written. The theories you've chosen to focus on are very well explained and linked to the topic well. I noticed that you sometimes use direct quotes in you chapter, when using direct quotes you should also reference the page number they came from (if they've come from an article). Other than that, you've done a great job! well done :) --U3117275 (discusscontribs) 10:26, 17 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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You have done an amazing job and the chapter flows really well. The pictures you have used make, were a good choice. I would add citations in the Overview section, just as it seems that this information may be from another source.

--JazNF (discusscontribs) 21:59, 17 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

Adding a quiz

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Hi, your chapter looks like it's coming along really well and i'm assuming your close to your word count, however I think adding a quiz to break up some of the text and make it a little more interactive could be beneficial. Good luck with your chapter!--Jbboys (discusscontribs) 07:12, 18 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

Bullet-points

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Add bullet-points to the See also and External links sections. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:09, 21 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

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This chapter could be improved by linking the first mention of key words to corresponding Wikipedia articles e.g., anxiety. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:45, 23 October 2016 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Wow - this is a fantastic chapter. Great coverage of theory and relevant research in an easy to read, well structured, self-help format.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  3. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.
  1. Excellent coverage of relevant theory applied in a balanced, critical manner to an applied topic.
  2. The case study is helpful. Consider adding a positive disclosure case study.
  3. The PTSD DSM criteria could be abbreviated with a link to the complete details.
  4. The Conclusion offers a succint summary and emphasises solutions.
  1. Excellent, critical coverage of relevant studies, integrated with theory.
  2. Emphasis international data - the audience is international.
  1. Written expression is excellent.
    1. Write for an international, not just an Australian, audience.
    2. The chapter successfully addresses the topic and book theme.
  2. Structure and headings
    1. The chapter is well-structured.
  3. Layout
    1. Some images are used, but the chapter could be improved by adding more images and/or tables.
    2. Tables and Figures should be referred to in the main text.
    3. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
  4. Integration with other chapters
    1. Basic integration with other chapters is evident.
  5. Learning features
    1. Add Interwiki links (to relevant Wikipedia articles) to make the text more interactive.
  6. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading are excellent.
  7. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. The APA style for the reference list is very good; remove issue numbers for paginated journals.
    3. subjects -> participants

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:17, 16 November 2016 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a simple, effective presentation.
  1. Overview
    1. Somewhat too brief - explain the problem to be solved - i.e., under/non reporting of sexual assault.
    2. Consider adding an Overview slide to help outline the problem and explain to the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Address an international audience.
    2. Content is well selected (i.e., not too much) and structured.
    3. It may be helpful to put the statement about the causes of non-reporting being complex earlier in the presentation - even in the Overview.
    4. Theory rich; research poor.
    5. Somewhat addresses a self-help theme - emphasise positive, practical, take-home messages.
    6. Perhaps consider using more illustrative examples.
    7. Citations not included.
    8. References are included.
  3. Conclusion
    1. Could be expanded to included some practical, take-away messages.
  1. Audio
    1. Well scripted and narrated.
    2. Audio is clear and well-paced.
  2. Visuals
    1. Simple, but effective animation with text.
    2. Visuals are not overly complicated - easy to digest.
  1. Overall, simple, effective, animated production.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Well titled.
    2. Add a link to the book chapter.
    3. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references, image attributions, and/or transcript).
  3. Audio recording quality
    1. Audio has some white noise and volume variation between slides - review microphone set-up.
  4. Image/video recording quality
    1. Excellent
  5. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is correctly shown in at least one location. Standard YouTube License.
    2. No acknowledgement about image sources.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:32, 25 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

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