Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Eating disorders and motivation

Latest comment: 7 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments edit

Hi throughout my research on death anxiety for my chapter I came across an interesting article on eating disorders that you may find useful for your chapter. It is titled: Death and annihilation anxieties in anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and self-mutilation. It can be accessed via the university library website using EBSCOhost. http://web.b.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.canberra.edu.au/ehost/detail/detail?vid=5&sid=482b929e-73c9-42b0-b130-e4262aa43595%40sessionmgr1&bdata=#AN=2007-05779-006&db=pdh if you see page 296 there is a discussion on unresolved grief which may be an interesting concept for you to include in your chapter. All the best!! --LeoDean1993 (discusscontribs) 09:36, 2 October 2016 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing edit

 
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:12, 3 January 2017 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall edit

  1. Overall, this is a basic, sufficient chapter.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  3. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.
  4. The chapter is well under the maximum word count.

Theory edit

  1. Overview
    1. Reasonably solid.
  2. Body
    1. Abbreviate the general theoretical material and provide references and links to further information (see also related comment about glossary). This would allow more space to apply the theories to the specific topic in more detail.
    2. Examples or case studies would be helpful.
  3. Conclusion
    1. Write in full-sentences rather than dot-points.
    2. What are the solutions/take-home messages?

Research edit

  1. Minimal review and description of relevant research.
  2. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  3. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method.
  4. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  5. Consider possibly reporting on meta-analytic findings.

Written expression edit

  1. Written expression
    1. Well-written.
    2. For academic writing in psychology, such as this book chapter, write in third person rather than first (e.g., avoid "I', "we", "our") or second (e.g., "you", "your" etc.) person perspective.
    3. Instead of a glossary, briefly describe any key terms within the context of the chapter and provide wiki-links to related Wikipedia articles for more information.
    4. The chapter somewhat addresses the topic and book theme but lacks practical take-home messages.
    5. Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter.
  2. Structure and headings
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
    2. Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections.
    3. Add External links section.
    4. The chapter is well-structured.
  3. Layout
    1. There is minimal use of images and tables.
  4. Integration with other chapters
    1. Limited integration with other chapters is evident (e.g., consider links to chapter listed here: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Eating
  5. Learning features
    1. Add Interwiki links (to relevant Wikipedia articles) to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
  6. APA style
    1. The APA style for the reference list is very good; remove issue numbers for paginated journals.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:12, 3 January 2017 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall edit

  1. Overall, this is a basic, sufficient presentation.

Structure and content edit

  1. Overview
    1. Good
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Probably too much content about eating is presented - be more selective - e.g., work backwards from 3 take-home messages to work out what content needs to be presented - and then focus on only that which is essential to conveying these messages.
    2. Too little content about the motivation behind eating disorders.
    3. No mention of research  .
    4. Basic coverage of theory.
    5. Doesn't clearly address a self-help theme.
    6. Consider using more illustrative examples.
    7. Citations and references are included.
  3. Conclusion
    1. None provided - summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful.

Communication edit

  1. Audio
    1. Audio narration is well-paced.
    2. Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.[1]
    3. Some words could be more clearly pronounced.
  2. Visuals
    1. Basic - approximately half a dozen text-based slides with some images.

Production quality edit

  1. Overall, basic production.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter).
    2. "Information" is incorrectly spelt in description.
    3. Link to and from the book chapter provided.
    4. Minimal but sufficient use of the Description field.
  3. Audio recording quality
  4. Audio didn't auto-start and wasn't synced with slides (required manual click-through)
    1. Consider using an external microphone to improve audio recording quality.
  5. Image/video recording quality
    1. Sufficient
  6. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the meta-data or the visual presentation).
    2. The copyright licenses and sources of the images used are not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:44, 3 January 2017 (UTC)Reply

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