Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Unconscious sources of attraction

Useful Article

Hey, Your topic sounds really interesting! I stumbled across this cool article that might be useful but it focuses more on the neurochemistry of falling in love - http://muse.jhu.edu/journals/psy/summary/v008/8.2young_bruehl.html. Best of luck with it! --U3096454! (discuss • contribs) 10:27, 14 October 2015 (UTC)

That article was extremely helpful! It helped me realize I left some essential pieces out and gave me a good base to refer to if needed.

Hello. I just looked over your book chapter and it seems a difficult topic. I have some suggestions though. Your second paragraph needs to be broken up. I counted 2021 words in the one paragraph, and according to the assessment page, a good paragraph should only contain three - five sentences. This is an extensive paragraph which might make readers tired attempting to take in so much information at once without a break. During this paragraph I also noticed that there was very minimal use of references. Some bold statements were made without citations backing them up. Your references list also includes predominantly information sources that are not peer-reviewed articles. As the theory component of this assessment is worth 10/50 Maybe a few more references would help you towards that. I think maybe some focus questions would help guide your reader to the concepts they need to focus on and what they should attempt to extrapolate out of this information source. Also Drive theory could be a nice theory in regards to unconscious motives. Maybe an unconscious drive for sex that needs to be satisfied leads to this attraction? Good luck! Ccgmjb (discuss • contribs) 05:23, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for catching my mistakes. I was able to go through my book chapter and incorporate alternative resources and references. Thanks so much!

Really interesting topic. I've noticed that you don't have a title on your page and that other chapters do (I realised I didn't have a title either). It can be added by going to edit source of a chapter that has a title and coping the formatting used, and replacing the text from that chapter with yours. I know you haven't finished editing and formatting the chapter yet, but like the person above states, you need to break up the sections with subheadings, paragraphs, etc to make it easier to read. A possible suggestion is making the link between your overview and the rest of the chapter clearer, maybe depersonalising the story, and then using third person to explain how this links into your chapter and what the chapter will talk about. The story reminded me of 50 Shades of Grey, you could possibly look at why the book has become so popular. I feel that you need to distinguish between romantic and sexual attraction and love for better understanding of your chapter. You've stated that romantic and sexual attraction are the first stage in the process of love, but feel that these need separating further. You could examine how romance is seen as desirable in our culture and that this may influence our motivation for it, contrasting with China where it is seen as undesirable and problematic (referred to in Ch 13 of the textbook under cultural aspects of emotion). And also some link to our psychological need for relatedness and implicit need for affiliation and intimacy, with note to reciprocity within that. The chapter reminded me of a song, which may or may not be helpful, by Mumford and Sons that reads: 'Love, it will not betray, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free, be more like the man you were made to be. There is a design, an alignment, a cry of my heart to see the beauty of love as it was made to be'. I used this song to get through a heartbreak of someone who was not good for me (like your overview poses), now with the knowledge that there are helpful and harmful relationships and forms of love, and we must follow our head over our heart sometimes. Hope this helps. U3100755 (discuss • contribs) 03:44, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

That was a really wonderful song, I gave it a listen. I took your contribution into consideration and took out some of the personal aspects. Thanks for your help!

Hi! Just had a look at your book chapter and it seems like an interesting topic. But I agree with the above comments in saying that the second paragraph needs to be split up as it was a lot of information to process at one time. Perhaps using focus questions and subheadings will help make it easier to read as well as take in the information. Also, I think it might help to add some wiki links throughout your page (even if just a few) as the assessment page suggests that using wiki links will help add to your chapter. Good luck with it! U3096927 (discuss • contribs) 03:53, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for your suggestions! I finally figured out how to create subheadings, headings, and change up the format.

Images

Hey! Your page is sounding really interesting! Similar to the other comments though, I think the text could be broken up a little. You could do this by:

• Images (I put an image of two people kissing on your page, just to get it started - feel free to change it! If you've forgotten how to add images into wiki, watch this youtube tutorial [1] It gives you a good idea of how to upload any pictures and add them to your wiki!)
• Dot points (in some places this could help to summarise your information an make it more readable)
• Colourful boxes (This could attract the readers eye! Try this post from Moodle if you need help [2])

Great job so far though! Keep up the good work! U3096454! (discuss • contribs) 12:25, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a promising chapter which addresses the question with a good range of relevant theoretical elements, but which could be improved significantly by a greater focus on research, better in-text citations, and a higher quality of written expression. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Theory Theory is well covered. Integrate and summarise the theoretical contributions to attraction in the Conclusion. Especially in the Conclusion, readdress the unconscious aspect of these elements. Especially in the Conclusion, provide some practical take-home messages based on psychological theory and research. Addition of case studies or additional examples could be helpful. Research A more detailed consideration of relevant research and closer citation of sources could significantly improve this chapter. The Reeve (2015) textbook is over-used as a citation; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources. Many statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Written expression Written expression The tone is friendly in places, but very dense in other places, which makes reading flow difficult to achieve. Expand the Overview to provide more detail about the question and what will be covered. Some of the bullet-points should be rewritten into full paragraph format. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page). The chapter would benefit from a more developed Overview and Conclusion, with clearer focus question(s) (Overview) and take-home self-help message for each focus question (Conclusion). Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. The layout is very good, with some Figures and no Tables. Learning features More Interwiki links could be added (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement. Grammar and proofreading The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). APA style Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations. Direct quotes need page numbers. Some images and no tables were used. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:19, 23 November 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, seemingly incomplete presentation. Structure and content The presentation doesn't clearly address or answer the topic - what are the unconscious sources of attraction. The video example was engaging and helpful. Include citations about evidence for claims. A conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages could be helpful. Communication Audio is clear and well-paced. The presentation lacked visuals (e.g., text/pictures; except for the video). Production quality Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references and image attributions). The copyright licenses and sources for the video not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides). No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:51, 26 November 2015 (UTC)