Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Sport team fandom motivation

Comments

Hi, I hope you don't mind but I made some minor edits to your book chapter. The figures now have APA numbers as per the suggestion below and I've added a hanging indent to your references so they are also in line with APA formatting. I really enjoyed the content of your chapter so though I would help out. Thanks U3036568 (discuss • contribs) 02:36, 1 November 2015 (UTC)

Hey Zev! What a great book chapter! Such an interesting and unique topic, I enjoyed reading it. The only suggestions I have is to add figure numbers to your images to meet the APA formatting, and add more hyperlinks where possible so that if people require more information on key concepts they can easily access it. The other little thing is I noticed is that you have included the same quote three times at the beginning of the chapter. Well done! U3048330 (discuss • contribs)

Chapter looks great - I went through and fixed a couple of formatting issues with the headers. Good work. MorganPhillips (discuss • contribs) 09:29, 1 November 2015 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a promising, but somewhat basic chapter which could be improved by expanding the review of theory and research. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Theory Theory was reasonably covered, but ideally provide more explanation, perhaps with examples, about how the theories help to understand sports fandom. Research Research could be described in more detail. Was the best available research accessed and used? (e.g., http://search.proquest.com/openview/98104433317b19a63658ff43c787f7f8/1?pq-origsite=gscholar) When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Written expression Written expression was reasonably good. Write for an international, rather than Australian, audience Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Layout Add bullet-points for See also and External links. Figures are used effectively. Some (excessive use of) coloured boxes was removed so as to aid accessibility/readability; strive for simple layout (e.g., as per Wikipedia articles) Learning features Add Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement. APA style The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:37, 30 November 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a solid, well-prepared presentation. Structure and content Well structured, with examples. The continuum model is very well explained; the preceding motives model elements could be covered in more detail. Communication Audio is well-paced; varied intonation adds interest and engagement. Slides are easy to read. The combination of images and text is effective. Production quality Rename the title from "Recording #5" so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter). Audio is little distant (not crystal clear) - check microphone set-up. License is indicated on opening slide, but should also be adjusted in the meta-data (instead of the standard youtube license). Also provide a clickable link to the chapter. The copyright licenses and sources for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images. Adjust the standard youtube license to reflect the license on the opening slide.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:21, 2 December 2015 (UTC)