Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Revenge motivation

Comments

Hi! Your page is looking really good! However, I suggest you add examples to your theories (e.g. how revenge would occur based on the theories). This would directly link the theories to your topic and facilitate greater understanding of the theories. Hope this helps! --U3082322 (discuss • contribs) 08:26, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Looks good - I would just put your refs as a heading. Quiz is nice touch too. Cheers U3040525 (discuss • contribs) 00:18, 10 September 2015 (UTC)u3040525

The chapter looks good. You may want to look at emotions related to revenge as well as motivations. All best Iga.leszczynska (discuss • contribs) 01:53, 9 October 2015 (UTC) Iga.leszczynska

Hi there,

I like the layout of the picture, looks like it will be easy to follow once you've uploaded more content - look forward to reading more! --U3096823 (discuss • contribs) 03:30, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi! Awesome chapter :) I like the use of coloured boxes and how you've addressed all the aspects associated with motivation. The quizzes are great! Maybe keep it to the amount you have, not sure if you were going to add anymore in, but 3 is a good amount. With the external links as well, you can just highlight your text and click the link button and add the link in there to make it a hyperlink, instead of saying what the link is and providing it next to your title. Good luck :) --Bt1718 (discuss • contribs) 03:39, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Reference tooltip

Hi there, your page is looking great!! Instead of putting "(Crowe & Wilkowski, 2013, Uniacke, 2000)." for example, you can use the reference tooltip that you would often see on wikipedia Body modification is the deliberate altering of the human anatomy or human physical appearance. [1] To do this all you need to do is: Revenge is a form of retaliation whereby one seeks out hostile confrontations with others, motivated by a desire to pay back another they feel is responsible for a hurt or suffering. add straight after the reference and if you add Template:Ref list (with no spaces in-between the brackets) onto your reference list it will automatically add every reference you choose to add using the reference tooltip, and if you click on the number where the reference would be it will take you straight to the reference list and highlight the reference that you clicked on. I found it to be extremely easy, and there is a lot of help online as well just incase :) heres a link that would explain it a lot better then myself.. referencing Good Luck! --U3098499 (discuss • contribs) 12:33, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:53, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Also note, remove bold and other fonts for headings; just use the default structure (e.g. Wikipedia articles all use default fonts and heading styles). -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:54, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Layout

Other suggestions:

• Add bullet-points to See also and External links.
• Consider adding some pictures

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:55, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Remove bold from headings. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:58, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Suggestions

Hello. What a interesting topic you have chosen. You write very clearly and you make some excellent points throughout your chapters. i also like the quizzes and the pictures too- very nice. The only thing i would suggest is incorporating the drive theory. the drive theory looks at this innate feeling of unrest, which forces individuals to take action in order to return to a harmonious relaxed state again. Thus, when explaining the reason for revenge, by applying the drive theory, the individual is committing revenge because something has occurred to disrupt the perpetrators regular inner state. Additionally, an article I found looked at how different events trigger different revenge processes in different countries. Apparently Americans took offence when their rights were violated whereas Koreans took offence when their sense of duty and obligation were threatened. Another study looked at revenge creating consequences which are opposite than what individuals believed. For example, research has shown that people who punish continually think about the event and person, but people who do not seek revenge let go and continue life and don't get as caught up in the situation. ref: Price, M. (2009). Revenge and the people who seek it. Monitor on Psychology, 40(6). Carlsmith, K. M., Wilson, T. D., & Gilbert, D. T. (2008). The paradoxical consequences of revenge. Journal of personality and social psychology, 95(6), 1316.

Hope this helps you and I am looking forward to reading your final chapter :) Good luck! --U3034876 (discuss • contribs) 10:36, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Reference list APA style

Note that the references are not in APA style. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:59, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a problematic chapter primarily because it contains too much general background information and too little theory and research specifically about the topic in question (i.e., it beats around the bush).] This chapter could also be significantly improved by providing a more indepth, critical review of the top research about revenge motivation. It relied somewhat too heavily on rather dated theory. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Theory There is too much preamble content; abbreviate and get to the point. There is too much general motivational theory. Abbreviate with links to dedicated Wikipedia or Wikiversity material, and focus on revenge motivation. Expand and better organise information about types of revenge - then use this as a key organising structure to explain what motivates revenge. "What have we learnt?" doesn't say much - expand. More examples could be helpful. Research Did you consult Freud (1895)? If not, don't cite it. Provide a more disciplined, coherent summary of revenge motivation research, with a summary of take-home messages in the Conclusion. Written expression Written expression Expand Overview. Write in third person rather than first person (e.g., "we") Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page). The chapter would benefit from a more developed Overview and Conclusion, with clearer focus question(s) (Overview) and take-home self-help message for each focus question (Conclusion). Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter. Layout Use default heading styles; remove bold Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections. Use gender-neutral language (e.g., man-made -> human-made) Too much content is chopped up into separate boxes which breaks the flow. Add bullet-points for See also and External links. Learning features Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links Add more interwiki links. Grammar and proofreading The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). APA style Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations. Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)). The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:38, 24 November 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation. Structure and content Some useful theoretical explanations for revenge are presented. Little to no psychological research about revenge is reviewed. What are the alternatives to revenge for dealing with pain, hurt etc.? What are some less dramatic examples of revenge (than homicide) - this would help to make the presentation more applicable to every day life? In the Conclusion, consider adding take-home messages that the everyday person can use to treat revengeful feelings in his/her own life. Communication Slides tend to be are text-heavy - probably abbreviate, especially as there is too little time to comfortable read the text and listen to the audio, at least for some slides. On the other hand, the Clark Hull slide could benefit from some text-based key points. Use gender-neutral language unless specifically intending to refer to one gender (e.g., man) Audio is clear and well-paced. Production quality Check zoom-level for some slides - some material is not readily readable on a typical screen without manually clicking to zoom Rename the title so that it includes the sub-title. Description is minimal but sufficient - include a brief description of presentation, license details, and possibly image attributions. The copyright licenses and sources for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides).

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:06, 26 November 2015 (UTC)