Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Paleolithic healthy food lifestyle motivation

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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Hey Liz, Your book chapter is really good. You write well and you have done an excellent job of explaining the motivation behind leading a paleolithic lifestyle. I like the use of the video and the pictures make it visually appealing. In regards to your theories, I would suggest you look at the social learning theory as a means to explain why people follow a palo lifestyle. According to the social learning theory, people behave a particular way because that is expected of them. Thus, people follow a pale lifestyle because they believe others expect them to behave and act in this manner. Additionally, the drive theory can help explain the motivation behind following this lifestyle. The drive theory suggests that people take action due to their negative state of tension which is caused when psychological needs are not met, in order to return to a harmonious state. You could also talk about the evolutionary theory too.

ref: Anderson, C. A., & Bushman, B. J. (2002). Human aggression. Psychology, 53 (1), 27. Bandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. Englewood Cliffs, N.J: Prentice Hall.

Anyway, great work, I am really looking forward to reading this soon :) --U3034876 (discusscontribs) 09:58, 23 October 2015 (UTC)Reply



Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this chapter needs considerable improvement to of an acceptable level.
  2. This chapter is well over the maximum word limit.
  3. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  1. Theory related to a PD is covered and some motivational theory is covered, but there needs to be a more extensive consideration of what motivates people to regulate their eating such as through a PD.
  2. A critical perspective is not apparent - at times the chapter verges on overenthusiastic and non-evidence based enthusiasm for PD.
  1. Research about the health benefits of a PD is reported, but the topic is really about motivation for following a PD.
  2. The Reeve (2015) textbook is over-used as a citation; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources.
  3. Several very useful/relevant research studies are described. However, they tend to be described one after the other. To improve the review of research, look for patterns and themes and try to synthesise the findings in order to convey a greater depth of understanding.
  1. Written expression is problematic.
    1. Some sentences are overly long.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    3. Write in third person rather than first person (e.g., "we")
    4. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page).
    5. Add a Conclusion.
  2. Layout
    1. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
  3. Incorporate link to other related chapter (e.g., digestive system and emotion, weight loss, healthy lifestyle, exercise motivation).
  4. Quiz questions and video links are used effectively to encourage reader engagement.
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise).
    2. Spelling could be improved - see the [spelling?] tags.
  6. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of several sentences needs to be improved for the written expression to be of professional standard (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals').
  7. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Italicise Figure X.
    3. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations, including use of et al.
    4. Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)).
    5. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:34, 24 November 2015 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation which lacks sufficient engagement in theory and particularly research.
  1. Some motivation theory is mentioned, but is not really applied, and little research is mentioned. The conclusion claims that health goals are a major motivation for eating a PD, but no research is presented to support this claim.
  2. The presentation lacks critical objectivity (it seems to be overenthused about the PD - or least doesn't seem to entertain critical/alternative views).
  3. Check spelling (e.g., affects, solutions)
  4. Include citations about evidence for claims.
  5. Perhaps consider using more illustrative examples.
  1. Audio is too fast to easily comprehend - consider slowing down. See this article for more information about speaking rates.
  2. Visuals tend to present a paragraph of text. Consider summarise key points into bullet points.
  1. Audio recording quality is poor due white noise - review microphone set-up.
  2. Rename the title so that it incorporates the full title and subtitle.
  3. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references and image attributions).
  4. The copyright licenses and sources for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images.
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides).
  6. No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 14:47, 26 November 2015 (UTC)Reply

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