Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Overcoming learned helplessness

Feedback

Hi, you have some good content so far and draw on some important theories, however here is some feedback to further develop your book chapter:

• add focus questions, great way to summarise topic and make it clear what information you will be presenting
• references are not APA style, e.g. journals not italiscised
• add external links, this shows you have looked for additional resources to further inform your topic and engages readers
• link key terms to wikipages or external book chapters, e.g. learned helplessness and classical conditioning
• avoid capitalisation within headings and in the body of text
• use et al., year for in text citations with 3 or more authors
• break up information under key research and theory, summarise key points, easier to digest
• captions under images do not follow APA guidelines, i.e. must have 'Figure' italicised
• Under health implications, the title motivation does not make sense in this context, perhaps consider putting 'cognitive' as a heading which is a health implication and tie in theory of motivation.
• learned optimism should be under key theories, not treatment
• intervention plans, is there more than one example?

--U3186377 (discuss • contribs) 21:40, 17 October 2021 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:19, 3 June 2016 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a reasonably good chapter which could be improved by making greater use of the wiki editing environment. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Theory Theory Learned helplessness is reasonably well explained. Addition of case studies or additional examples could be helpful. Some strategies to dealing with learned helplessness are provided, although this aspect could be expanded. Research Research Some relevant research is covered, but a more critical and indepth review of recent research could be integrated. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) Written expression Written expression In general, the chapter is well written. Make greater use of / build more clearly on the 2010 and 2011 chapters. Also link to / build on previous chapter(s) about learned optimism. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page). Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned). The chapter would benefit from a more developed Conclusion which addresses focus question(s) from the Overview and take-home self-help message for each focus question. Layout See earlier comments about heading casing There is minimal use of images or tables. No images or tables were used. Learning features Add Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement. Spelling Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour). Spelling could be improved - see the tags. Grammar and proofreading The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals'). APA style Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations. Direct quotes need page numbers. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:19, 3 June 2016 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a creative, interesting, presentation, but it seems to focus on describing learned helplessness (using an applied example), without offering any practical steps or solutions? Structure and content Consider including an Overview which sets up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter). Theory is used to explain the problem, but not to solve the problem. Consider including some key theory and research citations. about evidence for claims. A Conclusion summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful. Communication Audio is clear and well-paced. Varied intonation adds interest and engagement. Visuals are clear. Sub-titles are used effectively. Production quality Overall, very well produced. A link to the presentation is not provided from book chapter (a link has now been added). Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter). Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references, image attributions, and/or transcript). No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:55, 3 June 2016 (UTC)