Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Motivational control theory of cognitive fatigue

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:51, 2 December 2015 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is chapter does not sufficiently address the topic and marking criteria. The main area for possible improvement is the clarity of written expression. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Theory There is a lack of clear description of the core concepts with examples before discussing theory and research. What is motivational control? What is cognitive fatigue? A significantly improved chapter could be developed by simply summarising Hockey (2011). Theory coverage needs more indepth explanation. For example: Trait Theory and Habitual Behaviour: A relationship is implied, but what personality constructs are most closely related to motivational control and/or cognitive fatigue and how strongly related are they? Many statements need careful scrutiny and rewriting. For example, "The concept of motivation has been described as a fundamental human behaviour". Motivation is not behaviour. Motivation is what causes behaviour. Research Many relevant studies are not cited or sufficiently well explained (e.g., https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Michael_Frese3/publication/10819082_Mental_fatigue_and_the_control_of_cognitive_processes_effects_on_perseveration_and_planning/links/09e41507abb7a4cc95000000.pdf, http://www.rug.nl/staff/n.van.yperen/5._amj_2003_karasek_105.pdf) Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. The Reeve (2015) textbook is over-used as a citation; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources. Written expression Written expression The Overview does not provide a clear description of the problem. An example may be of assistance. Reference to the video was removed - it shouldn't be necessary to watch the video in order to understand the chapter. The Conclusion is vague and does not explain anything or provide any examples, nor are any concrete, practical, take-home messages provided. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page). The chapter could be improved by explaining terms when they are introduced (e.g., locus of theory, self-determination). Layout See earlier comments about heading casing Some Figures were deleted due to the lack of copyright information. Add bullet-points for See also and External links. Learning features Add Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement. Grammar and proofreading The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). APA style Put in-text citations in alphabetical order. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:51, 2 December 2015 (UTC)

Book chapter resubmission comments

1. Overall, the revised chapter is significantly improved, however it is also remains significantly flawed. The main issue remains the quality of written expression. In many places, the writing is difficult to understand as it often quite vague (e.g., "Biological and behavioural perspectives of motivation have yet been unable to attend to the perspectives of human experience in such a manner that is relatable." - What does this sentence mean?) or, alternatively, overly detailed.
2. Many of the earlier comments still apply.
3. The scope of the chapter is too broad; it goes beyond the topic as stated in the title and subtitle and thus fails to provide a cogent, focused summary of the target topic. An example of unnecessary content is the focus on critiquing observation as a research method - this is, at best, tangential to the topic. Other unnecessary content includes the author-created research study - better to focus on reviewing peer-reviewed and published research about the topic.
4. This chapter is well over the maximum word count.
5. Copyright restricted materials (including videos and images) were uploaded and re-used (e.g., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f8wL0r7Fh8). These have been deleted.
6. Some links to Wikipedia articles were added as external links; these should be changed to internal links.
7. The Overview is much improvement, however still fails to provide some key basics (e.g., What is cognitive fatigue? And what is the motivational control theory?).
8. No citation is provided for the Fatigue Self-Test, thus this test have been reproduced without permission.
9. There several problematic statements and claims (e.g., "should someone choose not to subscribe to Facebook, Twitter or Linkedin, they might as well have never existed in the first place.")
10. There are several claims made without sufficient argument or evidence (e.g., "This relentless assault has taken a staggering toll on the mental well-being of society."). Avoid exaggerating. Strive to present an objective rather emotive perspective about what psychological science has discovered about the topic.
11. Heading casing still needs to be put into sentence casing (i.e., only capitalise the first letter unless referring to proper nouns).
12. Where using multiple citations, these should be in alphabetical order.
13. The quiz doesn't contain questions about cognitive fatigue or MCT .
14. Add bullet-points to See also and External links.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:41, 17 December 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation that has very similar problems to the book chapter - basically, it dives into a lot of tedious, technical explanation and lacks a really clear explanation of the basic problem/questions (with examples), clear explanation of the key concepts, selective focus on a small number of theories which help to understand the problem (relationship between the two constructs), a review of key research studies on the topic, and identification of clear, simple, practical take-home messages for improving everyday life. Structure and content Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter). Explain cognitive fatigue in clear, simple terms. Explain motivational control in clear, simple terms. Communication Audio is unclear/distorted/quiet in places. Varied intonation adds interest and engagement. Increase font size to make text easier to read. The combination of images and text is sometimes distracting. Consider making some slides text-only and/or putting the text alongside, rather than on top of, some images. Production quality Audio recording quality is very quiet - review microphone set up. The copyright licenses and sources for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images. Slide text is too small to easily read (increase font size or zoom in) Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter). Student number is irrelevant to the public. Rename the title so that it is more descriptive and meaningful. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references and image attributions). A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides). No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:54, 2 December 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia resubmission comments

The MM recording was resubmitted, but hasn't been rewatched/remarked. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:49, 17 December 2015 (UTC)