Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Mastery and flow

Structure

Nice book chapter, flow is something that I think we should all experience more in our short lives. Thanks for describing it :) I think your chapter has a clear layout. I also like the easy study, and also the "take home message" section as I think that fits nicely with the theme of the book chapter. I think some more colour would really brighten it up. I also think several of your paragraphs are quite long (I also know you must still be in the editing stage). Under Written Expression on the assessment page https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Assessment/Chapter James describes how paragraphs with 1 major point explained in 3-5 sentences is satisfactory. You have great content and I think if you could style it in closer adherence to the assessment criteria it would be a solid chapter. Good luck! :) Ccgmjb (discuss • contribs) 00:39, 12 October 2015 (UTC)

Layout

Hi! You're book chapter looks like it's going great,the detail on flow is really thorough! However in some place you might like to break up some of the chunks of text a bit to make it easier for the reader to understand. You could do this by:

• Numbered bullet points (perhaps where you talk about the 9 major components of flow)
• Some coloured boxes for key concepts (See the Moodle forum for tips on how to put these in)
• Subheadings (particularly when you are talking about the different theories or maybe even add a table so it's easier for the viewer to compare them)

Awesome job though! I feel like I gained alot from reading your chapter U3096454! (discuss • contribs) 04:30, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

Feedback

Hi, your book chapter looks great so far. Good layout and great how you started off with a case study however, it might be clearer to perhaps do a general overview of Flow and Mastery and then in a separate section do a case study on its own? I just feel the case study is the whole overview which in that case we dont really get an overview. Love the table you put in but I agree with the above, perhaps add more colour. An easy way to do this is to make that table a nice colour instead of gray.

Good luck :) ----u3079526----

Great topic and very well written. Did you know that ‘flow’ has been featured been the news recently. Here is an article by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi himself on “Mental As: 'Flow' vital for happy, fulfilled life” posted on the ABC news website. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-10-06/mental-as-happiness-is-flow/6819406 The article also ends with a 10-point plan for ‘flow’ which you may find interesting. I like the story you use to introduce the chapter. In your section on Goals you write about instrinsic and extrinsic motivation as well as social comparison and explain them very well. If you wanted some additional references, here are some that I have come across by Deci and Ryan.

• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2001). ON HAPPINESS AND HUMAN POTENTIALS: A Review of Research on Hedonic and Eudaimonic Well-Being. Annual Review Of Psychology, 52(1), 141-166
• Deci, E. L. and Ryan, R. M. (1985). The general causality orientations scale: Self-determination in personality. Journal of Research in Personality, 19(2), 109-134. doi: 10.1016/0092-6566(85)90023-6 Retrieved from http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Richard_Ryan2/publication/222439154_The_general_causality_orientations_scale_Self-determination_in_personality/links/02bfe513dd59438952000000.pdf
• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The 'What' and 'Why' of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227
• Paragraph structure: Second paragraph under ‘Preconditions of flow’ is very good because of how you provide examples all the way through. It is also very long (over 500 words). It might be easier for some people to take in the key points if you break it up a little. The same may apply to at least one of the paragraphs under your heading ‘Goals’

There are a few minor edits you may want to consider. I didn’t want to mess with your chapter so I’ve made a couple of suggestions in this message:

• Your version states:

Dean is 35 years old and was raised near a river by loving parents who taught him to work hard, ‘fun’ was largely considered wasted time. Suggested change: Dean is 35 years old and was raised near a river by loving parents who taught him to work hard. ‘Fun’ was largely considered wasted time.

• Your version states:

For example, Dean’s work culture overwhelms some resulting in anxiety driving them out of the zone. Suggested change: For example, Dean’s work culture overwhelms some resulting in anxiety driving them out of the zone.

• Your version states:

Clear objectives can give actions direction, sequence and structure, however since Csikszentmihalyi and LeFevre’s (1989) earlier work, it’s become apparent that not all objectives are optimal depending on the person’s cognitions, traits and proximity to reaching their objectives (Ranellucci, Hall, & Goetz, 2015). Suggested change: Clear objectives can give actions direction, sequence and structure. However, since Csikszentmihalyi and LeFevre’s (1989) earlier work, it’s become apparent that not all objectives are optimal depending on the person’s cognitions, traits and proximity to reaching their objectives (Ranellucci, Hall, & Goetz, 2015).

• Your version states:

So you are more likely to experience flow by arranging a task so that all the flow preconditions are present rather than just focusing on some. Suggested change: You are therefore more likely to experience flow by arranging a task so that all the flow preconditions are present rather than just focusing on some.U3092375 (discuss • contribs) 04:05, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Hello, this chapter as grown immensely since I last checked. I like the layout and information. I suggest maybe putting the first case study/example into a coloured box, as it is two paragraphs and would make a prettier display. I think there is a couple of wikilinks that could also have been provided such as: Achievement goal theory; Self-determination theory; Flow; Performance Goals; Mastery Goals etc. This would make it more interactive. I love the quiz, quite an advanced one as well. Great job! Ccgmjb (discuss • contribs) 05:30, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi! Cool chapter, interesting topic. I like how you've opened it using a case study, one suggestion is although it's quite long, to put it into a coloured table as it draws more attention to it. Having it apart of the text like any other subheading doesn't provide much of an introduction. Don't think it's a huge issue, but the info you have under each image is in italics, when the figure number only needs to be in italics. In your 'see also' section as well, make sure you add a link to each chapter you have there, that way people can go directly to it. Other than that, I like the variety of images you've used and the concepts you've addressed, good work :) --Bt1718 (discuss • contribs) 04:31, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Recording name

Currently the recording is named "Recording #2". I suggest giving it a more meaningful name (e.g., the same or similar to the book chapter name). -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:35, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter which tackles a novel topic creatively and well informed by theory and research. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Theory Theory is very well covered. The interweaving of the case study throughout was excellent. Research Research is well covered. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Some statements were unreferenced (e Written expression Written expression is excellent. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. The Conclusion could be made stronger by providing a summary of theory and research. Layout The chapter is well-structured. Table and Figure captions are excellent. Learning features The chapter makes excellent use of interwiki links to other book chapters and to relevant Wikipedia articles. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading are excellent. APA style The APA style for the reference list is very good; add italics and remove issue numbers for seriated journals.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:14, 22 November 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent all-round presentation which clearly addresses the self-improvement theme using psychological science. Structure and content Well structured. Theory and research was well covered and cited, with a practical emphasis. Communication Increase font size to make slides easier to read. Audio is clear and well-paced. Visuals are clear and informative. Production quality Overall, well produced; simple but effective. Description is minimal but sufficient. No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:25, 26 November 2015 (UTC)