Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Hot memory and emotion

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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Hey! I really liked your topic! In particular, the real life implications section is a great way to apply the knowledge. I also really loved the moving picture of the skull, very cool. I made a few suggestions in bold for you to look at and made a few grammatical changes , I hope you see them before the due time. I would also suggest breaking up the writing a little more if you could with a few more pictures, text boxes, borders or colours :) All in all, well done :) U3083545 (discusscontribs) 07:39, 25 October 2015 (UTC)Reply

= Comments

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Hey! Your chapter looks great. Only thing I could see was with your images I think the APA format is underneath them you need to have 'Figure 1. ..." 'Figure 2. ...". Otherwise good job! U3097090 (discusscontribs) 03:55, 24 October 2015 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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Hey interesting topic,

Just a suggestion you might want to look at hot memory and post traumatic stress disorder. I came across this a little bit when researching my topic.

Cheers Njzarb (discusscontribs) 03:04, 14 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Hi! Cool chapter. Has a nice layout to it and I love the animated image of the amygdala that you added. I like how you have real-life implications that can actually occur. Don't forget to add figure numbers under all your images too! Other than that, I think you've explained the key brain areas and summed it up well. Good use of external links as well. Just a suggestion, but maybe you could add the 'remember the last time..' section at the top of your page just above your overview or highlight it in a coloured box to draw some more attention to it. I think it looks a bit out of place being just below the title which is in a large font size and then having the multimedia link under it. Keep up the good work :) --Bt1718 (discusscontribs) 12:27, 24 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:02, 22 October 2015 (UTC)Reply


Heading formatting

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Remove bold from headings; just use default heading styles. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:02, 22 October 2015 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter which is undermined by overly long sentences and a lack of referencing. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  1. Theory is reasonably well covered in terms of breadth and depth, but it is not clear what evidence/sources many of the claims are based on.
  1. Although use of research is implied, many statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  2. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
  3. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Textbooks are over-used as citations; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources.
  1. Written expression is somewhat problematic.
    1. Many sentences are overly long.
    2. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned)
  2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
  3. Layout
    1. The chapter makes basic use of several images. Image captions could be more detailed.
    2. The chapter is well-structured.
  4. Learning features
    1. The chapter makes some use of interwiki links, but more could be added to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement.
    3. No tables were used.
    4. Add See also and External links.
  5. Grammar and proofreading
    1. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals')
    2. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags)
  6. APA style
    1. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations (e.g., (McDonald, 1998, Phelps, 2005) should be (McDonald, 1998; Phelps, 2005).
    2. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    3. Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)).
    4. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:11, 20 November 2015 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, marginal presentation.
  1. Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter).
  2. Textbooks are over used as the sources.
  3. What are the practical, take-home messages.
  4. Some basic theory is covered; there is little in the way of a review of research.
  5. Include citations.
  6. Perhaps consider using more illustrative examples.
  1. The audio narration seems hesitant - ehearse a few more times.
  2. Audio is well-paced.
  3. Check and correct audio/slide syncing.
  4. Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.
  1. Overall, production is very basic.
  2. Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter).
  3. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, license details, and possibly include references, image attributions, and/or audio transcript).
  4. The copyright licenses and sources for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images.
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides).

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:46, 3 December 2015 (UTC)Reply

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