Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Family influences on academic motivation

Comments

Hiǃ Good job and you're almost thereǃ I do have a few edits on the chapter, hope you didn't mind me taking the liberty to modify and correct certain sentences. Other issues that you must look at before submitting are theseː 1. You wrote "parents are considered the most invested in their child’s education" - did you mean parents have invested the most? It is a bit ambiguous. 2. You wrote "The interactions between students and their teachers, peers and family have evidently influenced their academic achievement (Juvonen & Wentzel, 1996)." I am thinking using the word evidently without showing exact findings is not something we should use in psychology papers since your use of "evidently" sounds like you reached the conclusion yourself. 3. You wroteː "Firstly, children living in a single parent home may not have the same amount of books and resources as a child living with two parents, which can reduce motivation (Chiu & Xihua, 2008)." - This is an edited sentence, but I think you try to answer the question "how"? It leaves the reader in a state of questioning because if you do not show us how this can reduce motivation then it leaves the thought hanging. 4. The paragraph on "Family structureː Family dynamics and characteristics are greatly associated......"- I already edited this but please do go over it carefully before submitting your paper because it is a bit confusing on what you are trying to show. It fine to use smaller sentences but it is best to keep it clear for the reader. 5. "Authoritarian parenting, mainly due to the excessive control, leads to children becoming uninterested in school and therefore not motivated towards academic achievement, as intrinsic motivation has been eliminated (Aunola, Stattin & Nurmi, 2000)." - In this line you are giving out a lot of information in a single sentence and expecting the reader to know and reach conclusions. We are supposed to write for the "intelligent laymen" and not necessarily students of psychology therefore it will be break down the linkages you made here that because authoritarian parenting uses excessive control, children tend to become uninterested in school and feel less motivated towards academic achievement... and then mention in a separate sentence that this compromises children's intrinsic motivation. 6. You wrote "Although how reliable and whether there is enough evidence to support these statements is unclear, but they do have some truth to them. This is mainly due to parenting styles and behaviours." This is very vague and not supported by existing literature. You mention the lack of evidence but you conclude that they have some truth. You need to tell reader how you reached this conclusion. 7. You need to properly cite this section using page numbersː “I want to be the person that makes them say, ‘Oh, I wish I could do that’ or ‘Oh, I wish I could write that good’. I just want to be who they look up to. I’m the oldest child of my family and I have a younger brother and younger sister, so [my motivation] comes from there”. Where as those who are considered moderate achievers, are more likely to be looking at their siblings as a role model, taking a more negative outlook stating that “Two or three of my cousins dropped out, or like you know, they got pregnant and stuff. And I don’t want to do the same like their mistakes” 8. "The link between SES and academic achievement continues to be relevant when looking at school level, minority status and school location, however, there has been a slight decrease in the strength of the association over the years (Sirin, 2005)." - I already edited but maybe you should elaborate on why a slight decrease was seen (if ofcourse it is relevant to your chapter). If not, then I'd suggest removing the line where it says that the association is growing weaker over the years. 9. You wroteː ːIt has been found that Asian and Asian decedents spend more time doing homework and have higher parental expectations than Caucasian student (Urdan, Solek & Schoenelder, 2007)." -- did you mean descendants? Maybe just use students? 10. The part before the conclusion where you have a "Study"ː is this paragraph necessary? I do not see it adding any new information to your chapter. Some final suggestions and commentsː great effort and good depth of research; do try and use a few images and brighten up your pageǃ And read through it over and over again to see if everything flowsǃ Good luck and please don't feel intimidated by the number of editsː I am only suggesting ways for you to make you get higher marks ;)--U3059210 (discuss • contribs) 20:28, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi! Your topic looks really interesting, I love the beginning especially with the 2 students opinions. It's a nice way to open up the chapter. I'm sure you're in the middle of editing it and adding pictures, but diagrams would be helpful in being able to view important theories/concepts in a visual way. I found this article on the roles parents play on their children's motivation. Hopefully it's helpful! - Usher, A., & Kober, N. (2012). 4. What Roles Do Parent Involvement, Family Background, and Culture Play in Student Motivation?. Center on education policy. Bt1718 (discuss • contribs) 3:33, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

--David James Stevenson (discuss • contribs) 11:19, 19 September 2015 (UTC) Hello, I am going to hyperlink your topic. If you get stuck on anything let me know and I may be able to help. Great topic choice :)

Hi,

I read what you have so far on your topic. It is really interesting and i feel like the upcoming information on how parenting styles influence academic motivation is going to be very interesting. I feel that if you add some charts showing the increase/ decrease of grades depending on the parenting styles, that will benefit your topic

-Minela Seferagic September 17th Uu3148421 (discuss • contribs)

Chapter Discussion

Hi there,

I just had a read of your chapter and found it to be very comprehensive and interesting. One formatting suggestion I have is perhaps adding coloured boxes or changing the font/style of your direct quotes. I always find that sort of formatting grabs my eye and once I have read the quote, I want to read more about the background of the topic.

Nothing huge, I know, but I know when I read Wiki pages I appreciate something that changes up the plain black and white style.

Good luck with your chapter and all the best!

Lucy Collins U3150189 12:36, 22 September 2015 (UTC) 12:34, 22 September 2015 (UTC)

Couple of suggestions

Hi

This is a great topic, and it looks like you're well on your way! I've just got a couple of suggestions: you have some headings with capitals throughout, but I think we're only supposed to capitalise the first word in a heading.

Also, I noticed you've got two quotes, though only the second has a reference. I suspect you probably need to reference the first also.

Good luck!

Burners67 (discuss • contribs) 00:40, 28 September 2015 (UTC)

Hi, I think your topic is excellent and clearly written. It is an interesting topic and applicable to us uni students too :) One thing i would suggest is incorporating a quiz or something for participants to get involved in and utilise their new understanding about the information on your book chapter! Good luck :) --U3034876 (discuss • contribs) 23:42, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi, great topic it looks interesting - just make your figure larger so you can read it. I would add just a little more colour in the bottom half of page. U3040525 (discuss • contribs) 21:29, 22 October 2015 (UTC)u3040525

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:58, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a solid chapter which could be improved by providing less introductory material and a more indepth review of research. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Theory Theory is the main strength of the chapter, in terms and breadth and depth. Perhaps more case studies/examples could be helpful. Research When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Overly detailed description of Aunola, Stattin and Nurmi. Written expression Written expression Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned) Layout Add bullet-points for See also and External links Use default heading styles; remove bold Use wiki bullet-points (some bullet-points are copied and pasted from a word processor). The chapter makes limited use of interwiki links to other book chapters and to relevant Wikipedia articles. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags) APA style Check and correct the APA style for figure captions. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:58, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this was a problematic presentation because the content never actually describes what the influences of the various proposes actually are on academic motivation (e.g., in the most basic terms, are each of the mentioned factors positive or negative influences on AM?). There are no take-home messages which families or educators can put into action. Structure and content Academic motivation isn't defined or described. The directional of influence for family factors on AM isn't described. Research isn't reviewed. No take-away messages are provided. Communication Audio is clear and well-paced. Visuals are clear and easy to read. Perhaps consider using greater intonation. Production quality Overall, well produced. The copyright license and source for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation. No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:12, 25 November 2015 (UTC)