Latest comment: 9 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Hello!
You have a fantastic topic, the practical nature of it is something you could really utilize. Adding a section at the end (before your references) linking to websites where those interested in looking further into down syndrome can click through to could quickly make your page more engaging and a simple way of finding those interested and showing them other good places to look. Good topic choice!
Latest comment: 9 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is a promising chapter with some helpful research information, in particular, but it is significantly undermined by a lack of referencing and poor quality written expression. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
Abbreviate the general theoretical material and provide references and links to further information. This would allow more space to apply the theories to the specific topic in more detail.
Addition of case studies or additional examples could be helpful.
Several very useful/relevant research studies are described. They tend to be described one after the other. To improve the review of research, look for patterns and themes and try to synthesise the findings in order to convey a greater depth of understanding.
When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
Some sentences are overly long.
The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page).
Consider changing "individuals with" to "people with".
Layout
Add bullet-points for See also and External links
A couple of figures (more could be added); no tables.
Useful quiz.
Learning features
The chapter makes no use of interwiki links to other book chapters and to relevant Wikipedia articles.
Spelling
Spelling could be improved - see the [spelling?] tags
Grammar and proofreading
The grammar of several sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags)
APA style
Direct quotes need page numbers.
Add APA style captions to tables and figures.
Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)).
Latest comment: 9 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
Audio is too fast to easily comprehend - consider slowing down.
Similarly, there is too much text per slide to easily take in, along with the pace of the audio - consider using less text and maybe also including some images to break up the density of the text.
