Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Chocolate eating motivation

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comment

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Interesting topic, however is boredom a motivation?? that's when I find eat it mostly. Keep up the good work. U116040

This looks like such a great and fun topic, and I'm looking forward to reading it. I think the structure is good and the topics you've outlined seem very informative. Good luck with it :) --U3096927 (discusscontribs) 8:22, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey there :) Found a helpful article with a lot of statistics you can use for your chapter. Hope it helps, good luck!http://brandongaille.com/26-incredible-chocolate-consumption-statistics/ User:U3097062 22 Oct 2015

Useful Article

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Hi, Firstly, what a great topic! I found this article that you might find useful. http://emilkirkegaard.dk/en/wp-content/uploads/Chocolate-craving-and-liking.pdf It's a survey of students and parents to see if any there were any habits linked in craving chocolate in families. They bring up some really great points. I look forward to seeing what else you find! --U3096454 (discusscontribs) 00:00, 11 October 2015 (UTC)Reply

Structure Feedback

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Cool topic! I do have some suggestions for you - I think having 9 topics will make it very difficult for you to fit to the 4000 word limit. Therefore I would suggest you getting rid of topic 3 (Motivation, 3.1 (What is motivation?) and 3.2 (How does motivation relate to satisfaction?) as this could be easily incorporated into previous topics using only a few sentences. I would also suggest merging topics 5 (Serotonin), 6 (Dopamine) and 7 (Flavanols) together under one topic of "neurotransmitters" or something similar, and having each of these as a sub-heading. Otherwise each topic in your chapter will only have a few sentences in order to adhere to the word limit. All the best :) --U3081677 (discusscontribs) 10:09, 14 October 2015 (UTC)Reply


Helpful article

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Hey there! I see that you are wanting to discuss the biological/chemical side to the motivation of eating chocolate this link Why do we crave chocolate so much? could be a great article to start off with!

good luck :) --U3098499 (discusscontribs) 09:29, 21 October 2015 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:46, 24 November 2015 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a well-constructed chapter which could be improved by providing more wiki-environment interactivity (e.g., images, tables, interwiki links, quiz).
  2. For further feedback, see below and these copyedits.
  1. Theory is well covered.
  2. Consider drive theory - could be a useful overarching motivational framework?
  3. Addiction theory was well considered.
  4. Link/integrate to the book chapter on the menstrual cycle and emotion
  1. Research is well covered.
  2. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  3. The Reeve (2015) textbook is over-used as a citation; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources.
  4. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
  5. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  1. Written expression was reasonably good, however could be improved:
    1. Write in third person rather than first person (e.g., "we")
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    3. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page).
    4. The tone/accuracy of several statements is problematic. For example, "Moderation! It is probably the worst advice that could possibly be given, because who can actually control themselves around chocolate, but any chocolate in moderation is fine." is problematic because most people eat chocolate in moderation. No citations are provided for the claim that "Unfortunately, it is a small majority that can successfully curb their cravings for chocolate."
    5. The Conclusion provides an excellent summary.
  2. Layout
    1. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
    2. The chapter is well-structured.
  3. Learning features
    1. Add more Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading are very good.
  5. APA style
    1. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations.
    2. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:46, 24 November 2015 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.
  1. Some slides are presented without audio and without much time to read them.  
  2. Include citations about evidence for claims.
  3. Consider including more images to facilitate interest/engagement.
  4. The Leptin and Dopamine sections provide the best explanations for chocolate craving.
  5. A conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages could be helpful.
  1. Audio is clear and well-paced, but missing in many places.
  2. Visuals are clear and easy to read.
  3. Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.
  4. Audio volume varies somewhat between slides.
  1. Rename the title so that it is more descriptive and meaningful - currently "Copy of Mind Mapping Template".
  2. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references and image attributions).
  3. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides).
  4. No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:24, 26 November 2015 (UTC)Reply

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