Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Weight loss motivation in overweight children

Editing tip - Linking to Wikipedia articles

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Thank-you for your contributions to Wikiversity! I hope you don't mind being offered a Wikiversity editing tip. Links to Wikipedia article should be made as internal rather than external links. For example, [[w:Pet|pet]] creates a link like this: pet to the Wikipedia pet article. This is preferred to an external link like this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pet or pet.

I hope this helps to further empower your Wikiversity contributions! -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:34, 26 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

just one thing

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Hey, so I've had a chance to have a quick look over your chapter, it flows really well!

Just one pointer I have, which I'm sure you'll address through your editing it just to make sure your formatting is neat, i quickly edited it so the motivating the parent subheading flows into the next paragraph, plus one quick spelling change.

Good luck!! --Charlotte.C (discusscontribs) 14:14, 26 October 2014 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

 

Overall

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This is a very good presentation on an important and very relevant issue. Well done!

The structure is very clear, with a logical flow throughout. Discussing adolescent males and females separately was very useful. Theories are integrated throughout. Research is also included, but is often not directly referred to. A good, succinct conclusion is provided. Some illustrative examples are used.

Communication is a strength of this presentation. The voice-over is appropriately paced, with good expression and pauses where necessary. The slides are nicely put together, with a good amount of text included on each. Some images are used.

Basic production tools are used effectively in this presentation. The audio quality is generally good. There is some background sound in the microphone. Quality of visuals are good. The presentation has a professional feel. A link to the book chapter is provided. Copyright license information is provided.

ShaunaB (discusscontribs) 02:42, 19 November 2014 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. This is a comprehensive, interesting, practical chapter and serves an excellent example. For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below.
  1. The target audience is international; so the article should be de-Australianised or the title/topic revised.
  2. An appropriate breadth and depth of theoretical approaches are explained.
  3. Case studies provide excellent illustrations.
  1. Research is well integrated.
  2. More details about key research studies could be provided.
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  1. Written expression is generally good.
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
  2. Layout
    1. Level 3 headings should be used as the level below Level 2 headings
    2. Tables and/or Figures were used effectively.
  3. Learning features
    1. Some relevant in-text links are provided; more could be added.
  4. Spelling and grammar are very good.
  5. APA style is very good.
    1. APA style Figure and Table captions need to be added.
    2. Remove issue numbers for seriated journal references.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:36, 28 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

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