Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Terrorism motivation

Use of colour

I recommend minimising use of coloured backgrounds e.g., due to accessibility issues for people with visual disabilites. Note that Wikipedia articles have a white background as standard. Coloured is only used e.g., in pictures or graphs, to help convey data/concepts. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:15, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Punctuation and some new information

Hey, i fixed up a few punctuation and spelling errors throughout your chapter I hope you don't mind, I find your information really interesting especially with everything happening at the moment, however in your theory sections about the different floor levels, I noticed you have a reference up the top but then have neglected to reference throughout the rest of that section, I think you may need to add more intext citations to ensure you don't get picked up for plagiarism. Perhaps you could also include a case study (if there are any out there) about someone who has joined a terrorist organisation and gotten out, or perhaps an interview with one that discusses why they are so dedicated to that particular organisation.

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/11/terrorism.aspx 

This article has some really good information that you could include such as information on characteristics of people more likely to join terrorist groups, and how cultural influences also impact on that. Hope all that helps. --U3080853 (discuss • contribs) 04:44, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

Punctuation, grammar and rewording

Hey I just went through your section labelled 'Motivations behind joining terrorist organisations and committing violent terrorist acts' and corrected spelling and grammatical errors throughout, I hope that this helps. I found one sentence under the heading 'Third Floor' that I thought could be reworded. So this is what you have written at the moment: 'The people who occupy the third floor connect with terrorist organisations and being the process of morally engaging with the terrorist organisation their ideals, values and ,morals'. I thought this could possibly be reworded to: People who occupy the third flood connect with terrorist organisations and are in the process of engaging with the terrorist organisation's ideals, values and morals. I hope that that makes sense and could possibly help. It would be a good idea to include a reference after this sentence and reference more throughout your chapter to avoid plagiarism. Overall well done and an interesting topic! --U3081027 (discuss • contribs) 05:04, 22 October 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Hey I have just completed some more editing on your book chapter, I hope this is okay. I just did some minor changes to spelling and punctuation from the start of the 'Borum: Stages of development of extremist ideas and justification of violence section to the end of the 'Self radicalisation' section. I hope this has helped. --U3081027 (discuss • contribs) 02:28, 23 October 2014 (UTC)
Hey your chapter is coming along nicely! I just did some minor edits as some words were in American spelling and some missing capital letters. Well done so far, looks good! --U3081027 (discuss • contribs) 23:44, 24 October 2014 (UTC)

Heading formatting

I recommend using the default heading formatting i.e., remove bold etc. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:49, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

APA style captions for images and tables

I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see http://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/content.php?pid=113807&sid=1208571 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:49, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Overall A nicely developed presentation on a really interesting topic. Well done! Structure and content The structure and flow are good. Theory and research are well integrated. The focus of the presentation is well-selected. Communication Ideas are communicated clearly through audio and images. Try to use dot-points, rather than paragraphs throughout. The pace of the voice-over is good, and the delivery is engaging. The use of an illustrative example is a strength. Production quality The use of Prezi gives a professional feel. Image quality is good. The audio cutting in and out is a little off-putting, and there is some variability in volume. ShaunaB - Talk

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a solid, interesting, and generally well-balanced chapters. For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below. Theory The topic didn't specify/require a specific focus on Islamic terrorism, so this really required some justification. Non-Western cultures may well view Western forces as terrorists which may well warrant acknowledgement. Several theories are well covered; perhaps more could be said by way of comparing and contrasting the theories. Research Research could be covered in more detail, although understandably research in this area may be limited. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Some statements were unreferenced - see the tags Written expression Written expression was OK, but was hampered by grammatical, proofreading, and APA style errors. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. The quality of written expression could be improved where clarification templates have been added to the page. Layout The bulk of the coloured backgrounds were removed to improve accessibility. Some Figures were used effectively; more could be added. Learning features The chapter some relevant links to Wikipedia pages; more links could be added to other Wikiversity book chapter pages. Spelling, grammar and proofreading Use Australian spelling e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise Check use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals' The grammar for some sentences could be improved - see the tags Spelling could be improved - see the tags APA style Check/correct APA style for in-text citations. The reference list was not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:30, 27 November 2014 (UTC)