Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Perceived control and emotion

Syntax error

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Hi I've looked over your page and its really good, but your quiz has come up with a syntax error, I think this is because you have not indicated a correct answer. Once this is fixed the message should go away AGH BMW (discusscontribs) 04:55, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:28, 17 October 2014 (UTC)Reply


Hi I just went through and changed your headings for you- all should be in lower case now:) --Emily (discusscontribs) 09:58, 25 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Moderating variables

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Have you thought about putting some info about other moderating variables? e.g. Situational Valence

Consider - Quan, P., Feng, C., & Yang, Q. (2011). Lacking control: Situational valence, effects of perceived control and illusory pattern perception. Social Behaviour and personality, 39(10), 1413-1416.

How do you think the concept of bi-directional anxiety fit in? Fitzcaelte (discusscontribs) 22:52, 20 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Was also thinking that you might like to write something about the difference between lack of control and perceived lack of control? Fitzcaelte (discusscontribs) 23:13, 20 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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Hey Chelsi, I fixed up your link to emotions and locus of control so it is now an internal link instead of external. Maybe include why a lack of control is distressing and what accompanies it or what it might be characterised by. Added the word ‘to’ to a sentence, that you missed, also the wording of this sentence ‘’It could be suggested that this may be in part due people with an internal LOC perceiving they are able to control and alter their environment, and as such experiencing it in a more positive emotional state as they have more proactive tendencies and as such are more likely to bring about change when unhappy with a situation as well as initiate change to deal with stress within the workplace (Sahoo, 2002; Wang et al., 2010).’’ Seems to be very long to read, maybe break it into two sentences for examples - It could be suggested that this may be in part due to people with an internal LOC perceiving they are able to control and alter their environment, and as such experiencing it in a more positive emotional state (Sahoo, 2002; Wang et al., 2010).. This may be due to them having more proactive tendencies and as such are more likely to bring about change when unhappy with a situation as well as initiate change to deal with stress within the workplace (Sahoo, 2002; Wang et al., 2010). Took 'of' out of a sentence where it didn't make sense and fixed some small punctuation errors Another question, are you supposed to be repeating the quiz questions under locus on control in the final quiz? Hope all that helps, I’d be happy to take another look when you add some more information and if you could look at my page and give me some feedback that would be great Creativity and emotion --U3080853 (discusscontribs) 03:51, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply


Hi Chelsi, i have just read through you chapter, so far its really good, i agree with the previous comment about breaking up the sentences a little and the provided examples are great. When you start to introduce learned helplessness and attribution theory, make sure you define them in simple terms so the reader can gain a better understanding, however still talking in depth about them will be great too, just that initial what are they? i really like the coloured box at the beginning defining emotion and perceived control, however im not sure the placement is correct, it seemed a bit in your face to start, mayby have the writing first then followed by the coloured box, any way all suggestions, :) overall good job so far looking forward to reading more., Id be open to feedback on my page as well Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Self-esteem and emotion cheers --U3080857 (discusscontribs) 04:06, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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Hi Chelsi

So far, your page is quite impressive. Although I do have a few suggestions for you in terms of the layout. In order to make it look a little bit better, maybe consider putting a few images here and there throughout the chapter. Furthermore, I feel like you may want to talk about more than one theory that's relevant if you can find one? Perhaps the perceptual control theory? (http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF02686633)

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11218-007-9040-0#close this article also may serve you a purpose :)

Great work though! Cheers --CazaF (discusscontribs) 05:07, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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Hey Chelsi,

Firstly, thank you so much for your comments on my page. It really did help to remind me to do things that i had forgotten about. I think the way that you have set up your headings is good perhaps some subheadings through as well would be good. Subheadings would make it easier to read and help with the flow. So far the way you have written all your research is really well done as well. In the Locus of Control part you have done well with the research but dont forget to explain what locus of control actually is before going into all of that. I know it sounds obvious but sometimes i forget to explain myself before i get into deep discussion as well. In terms of referencing you were right, when there are only two authors it is written like this: '(Beck & Chelsi, 2014). But i believe i saw in the APA book that when there are three or more authors it is written like this: (Beck, Chelsi, & Toni, 2014). I could be mistaken but i believe it is written like that, might want to double check just in case. So far you're doing really well with your chapter, good job!

Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Self-esteem and emotion Bh712 (discusscontribs) 19:50, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

your structure

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Some comments and suggestions:

1. your overview starts with heavy stuff on control. Maybe ease in by starting with something that people can relate to in their daily lives? Also, edit it a bit so that readers know what to be expected. You could ask some questions that readers might feel that they want the answers to them? This is to make it more engaging when reading it.

2. You have a lot of theoretical stuff. Remember to balance it with research evidence and some studies that people can relate to. Or from the studies, you draw out something that people can relate to. something that makes sense in daily lives and easy to understand.

3. In the flow of writing, personally I prefer this method in this chapter: start with some daily life example, or questions---> uplift the questions and understanding of the issue to theories (basically, looking at something from different perspectives) --> give examples in the theory part--> present studies in not extremely academic language and implications of the these studies for our daily lives--> concluding. --Xlc (discusscontribs) 10:04, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Hi it's me again. I had a look of headings. For example, in the locus of control part, you could create a subheading indicating where are you talking about the connection between LOC and emotion? Some boxes could be created to put in important studies or subtopics (for example: the importance of LOC for physical health etc). This way, it will be easier for the readers to follow.

You have some good foundation to work on, keep going! --Xlc (discusscontribs) 10:12, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

intro

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Hi your page looks really good, like the inclusion of mini quiz's throughout to break up the reading and get the concepts to sink in. Just added a semicolon in one of your references where it was missing, and was going to suggest maybe changing the 'proverb' in your opening sentence to italics to make it stand out from your other information- I had to read it twice to begin with (that may be due to being incredibly tired though!)--Emily (discusscontribs) 10:02, 25 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

layout suggestions

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Hey, just read through your chapter. It is really informative and the layout is clear and easy to read. There are just 2 small suggestions I would make (I haven't changed them myself, cause they are not content related but layout) With the two textboxes you have next to each other that define emotion and perceived control, I would recommend also making perceived control a hyperlink (like you did with emotion). Also with the case study you have created in the attribution paragraph I might suggest putting at the end as opposed to the middle as it breaks up the content and appears a little confusing to me where it is placed. I hope this helps and good luck with it Lucydiamond1008 (discusscontribs) 10:30, 25 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

APA caption and take home messages

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Hi Chelsi,

Two things regarding your chapter. 1. APA caption: Figure 1. Caption text. Check James' comment on other people's captions.

2. Will there be some take home messages in bullet points at the end of your chapter? --Xlc (discusscontribs) 12:06, 25 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

A few minor changes

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Hi Chelsi, I know this in the final stages and it's in really good shape. The mini-quizzes throughout work well. I just noticed a few minor errors which I've changed while reading: effect to affect in one place and changing the second sentence of the overview to start with "this proverb" rather than "they" so that it had a consistent subject with the first sentence, otherwise, it was a little confusing for the reader. I love the illustrations for external and internal LOC - very well chosen pictures! This is a great article and very clear to understand, Cdrake2014 (discusscontribs) 04:38, 26 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Tables and Stuff

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Hey Chelsi, I've noticed you were having some trouble with your tables so I had a squiz and reformatted and cleaned up the CSS for you. The tables are also now the same colour (you mentioned to me that you were having trouble getting them all the same colour).

Another thing that I have noticed though is (something that I did not change, I just reformatted the code for the actual table, not its contents) is that when you submit one quiz, it automatically submits all the quizzes on the page as well, even when they have not been filled out yet. I'm not sure how to fix that though. You might have to do a bit of trouble shooting in the help section on quizzes to see what a person can do to get it not to submit all the quizzes at once.

I also added some links to perceived control/perceptual control theory, as I noticed you did not have any of those. You could perhaps also add links to other terms like depression, etc.

Linssen (discusscontribs) 05:15, 26 October 2014 (UTC)Reply


References

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Hello,

I have made a spelling correction to the article title of your first reference (percieved -> perceived).

It is evident that you have conducted substantial research to develop the content in your chapter. I find that the writing style is of a high calibre. All the best!

--U3083960 (discusscontribs) 14:02, 26 October 2014 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

 

Overall

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Overall, this is a well developed presentation. Well done!

This is a strength of the presentation. The structure is clear and the flow between ideas is logical. The presentation is well balanced. Theory and research are really nicely explored. Some illustrative examples are included where appropriate. The question to be addressed by the presentation is clearly articulated. No overview is provided, but the presentation does conclude with a summary.

The voice-over uses good expression and pauses between sentences and slides. The presenter appears confident. The voice-over too fast throughout. The slides are basic but clear. Images and/or figures could be included in order to re-enforce the information being provided verbally.

Basic production tools are used effectively. The use of Prezi gives a professional feel. The visual quality is good. The audio quality is certainly sufficient, but does sound 'tinny'. A link back to the chapter is provided.

ShaunaB (discusscontribs) 03:49, 19 November 2014 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a good chapter. For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below.
  1. Theory is well covered in relation to perceived control, less so in relation to emotion.
  2. The proverb isn't clearly related to emotion (health, wealth, and wisdom). Perhaps an alternative proverb could be used e.g., maybe Good things come to those who wait.
  3. The description of the learned helplessness experiment with dogs could be abbreviated, with a link to further information, as it doesn't relate specifically the chapter topic about perceived control and emotion.
  4. The case study involving Emily is related to attribution, but could be made more relevant by also including emotion.
  1. Several relevant studies are cited. Key studies could be described in more detail.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  1. Written expression was generally good, but there are some specific aspects which could be improved.
    1. Some content appears to be repetitive and could be summarised (e.g., LOC).
    2. Some sentences were overly long.
    3. Some paragraphs were overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    4. The conclusion could be strengthened by making it a conclusion rather than a summary.
  2. Layout
    1. Limited use is made of Tables and/or Figures.
  3. Learning features
    1. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added - these only need to be added on first mention of a keyword; use plain text for the keyword subsequently.
    2. Some Wikipedia links are interwiki links, others are external links and should be changed to interwiki links
    3. Link to the 2014 chapter on attributions and motivation
    4. The quiz question "The idea that perception of control influences emotion is a relatively new concept" is time vague; make this more concrete/specific
    5. Some quiz items were repeated
  4. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. There are several to many sentence with grammatical problems - e.g., see the [grammar?] tags
    2. The word "that" is/was missing from many sentences e.g., "Patrick, Skinner and Connell’s (1993) research also identified that external and internal LOC was related to emotional states in children within the school system." - see my copyedits and the [grammar?] tags
    3. Check use of ownership apostrophes e.g., student’s vs. students' vs. students
  5. APA style
    1. Not all in-text citations are in alphabetical order.
    2. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    3. References are in close to, but not full, APA style e.g., remove issue numbers for seriated journal references.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:29, 26 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

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