Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Depression in athletes

All help, advice, edits welcome!

General comments

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Hi, Just read through your chapter and you have made a really good start depression is such a common thing it’s great to be able to understand it a little better, the depth and detail in the Depressive Mood Disorders Classification table is really good, very insightful and easy to read. You have included psychological theories and models quite well, and I’m really looking forward to reading more  especially for the lacking support section in which you have nothing for at the moment but ,I think that’s a very important point to cover and discuss when you include it. Just a friendly tip also, I noticed you have all your in text citations, I find it easier to add to the full reference list as well while I’m adding information, if you want to try it that way I find it’s easier to keep track  --U3080857 (discusscontribs) 10:52, 19 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Edits comments

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Hey :):)

This is a wonderful page! Seriously excited to read the finished product! I have had a quick read and only noticed one tiny thing to change but not sure of the exact wording you want to use - the image next to the title "Social Cognitive Theory: Self-efficacy" - The wording is (If an athlete has a negative of their failures and abilities they are likely to develop cognitive distress.) Just wondering if you wanted to put 'a negative view' or 'negative idea' not sure of what negative *** of their failures would be?

Hope this made sense! Looks amazing and Good luck! --Jessiek86 (discusscontribs) 09:09, 21 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

Hi Jessiek86, thank you for reading! It is just a draft copy and paste mock-up thus far (without final edits) so thankyou for picking up on this! - If an athlete has a **negative perspective of** their failures and abilities they are likely to develop cognitive distress. Will change. Thanks!

Suggested changes

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Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:51, 21 October 2014 (UTC)Reply

APA style captions for images and tables

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I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see http://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/content.php?pid=113807&sid=1208571 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:29, 23 October 2014 (UTC)Reply


Interesting Read

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Hi, I thought this article might be an interesting read for you, especially for the topic you are covering: http://persweb.wabash.edu/facstaff/hortonr/articles%20for%20class/medvec%20and%20others%20medalists.pdf . It doesn't have much to do with depression but given you are focusing on athletes I thought it was an interesting finding that bronze medalists are happier than silver medalists and may relate to how the athletes appraise a given situation. It works well with your look at cognitive behavioral therapy and could be used as a good example as to how cognitive behavioral therapy might help silver medalists have a more positive view on their performance?

--U3068899 (discusscontribs) 13:53, 25 October 2014 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is basic, thorough, effective presentation.
  1. The structure was OK. Perhaps it could the viewer the exact question or problem (or purpose) is initially established (e.g., the full title and subtitle used for the book chapter could be helpful here). The content could itself be made more interesting e.g., by using the case study or a quiz question mentioned in the presentatation (instead of just referring to their availability in the chapter). The content was somewhat dry (academic) and could have benefited from some examples. The theory content was quite brief (e.g., approximately one or two sentences is provided about three theories), with no obvious linkage with the research discussed; some integration is evident in the discussion about treatment - the presentation could perhaps be strengthened by providing more detail about approaches to prevention and intervention - e.g., what are the take-home messages?
  1. Communication was basic but effective. There was quite a lot of verbal audio material compared to relatively little visual material in the slides e.g., the visual presentation could be made more interesting by using more slides (e.g., one slide per dot point on the Theory and Research pages). More balance here (e.g., slightly less audio material spoken more slowly with richer use of visual aids) could make for a more engagement presentation. The audio felt like a transcript was being read aloud (rather than a natural conversation).
  1. Production quality was basic, but effective. There was some background "white noise" plus some background noise (e.g., banging) in the audio. There was little pause in the verbal audio (e.g., take a breath and let the reader's cognitive processing take a breath too e.g., between slides). Clipart is acknowledged as the source of the images, but more specific details should be provided e.g., the URL to the specific images and the specific copyright license that applied to the images. The copyright license for the presentation is provided at the end (good) but this isn't consistent with the use of a standard Youtube license in the video's meta-data.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:25, 7 November 2014 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter. It is over the word count, however.
  1. The theory component is very impressive. Several relevant theories are clearly explained, integrated, discussed in relation to research and a practical example, and practical recommendations are made.
  1. The use of research is excellent. It is thorough and well-cited.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  1. Overall, written expression was very good. The style is writing is easy to follow and interesting to a novice reader.
  2. The overview and conclusions are excellent
  3. Learning features
    1. Interwiki links could be provided instead of external links to Wikipedia articles
  4. Some spelling, grammar and proofreading mistakes were evident:
    1. Semi-colons were overused
    2. Use Australian spelling e.g., internalization -> internalisation
    3. Sometimes singular and plural are used in the same sentence e.g., "an individual" and then "their" rather than "his/her"
    4. The grammar for some sentences could be improved - see the [grammar?] tags
  5. APA style
    1. Citation formatting: (Feltz, & Lirgg, 2001) should be (Feltz & Lirgg, 2001)
    2. References were not in full APA format (e.g., no italics)
    3. Check APA style for direct quotes

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:24, 11 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

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