Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Dehydration and mood
Comments
editTry not to have too many boxes it can make it difficult for the reader to read through the page. I do not think that boxes within boxes would be the best idea. Also just by going off the headings you have so far they seem to be rather block like. Do not forget to link dehydration and mood together so that it flows and it is also easier for others to read. If you have difficulty looking for resources i have found google scholar to be really helpful, especially with difficult and specific topics. Here are some resources i hope that it helps:
http://jn.nutrition.org/content/142/2/382
http://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/3/5/555/htm
http://scielo.isciii.es/scielo.php?pid=S0212-16112013001200005&script=sci_arttext
http://healthywhenwet.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/men-cognition.pdf
--Bh712 (discuss • contribs) 08:53, 21 October 2014 (UTC)
Ideas
editJust thought I would add some suggestions also – here are some more ideas to get started. I saw there is an article suggested already on women, so I thought I would suggest other areas.
This article looks at men specifically, their mood and cognition as a result of dehydration -
This article looks at children and how their cognitions vary after having water and their mood.
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0195666309006394
Not sure the direction your taking with your book chapter but if your mentioning cultural aspects of mood and dehydration – this article discusses fasting during Ramadan;
http://www.nature.com/ejcn/journal/v57/n2s/full/1601899a.html
Jessiek86 (discuss • contribs) 21 October 2014
Comments
editHey Brooke, Thanks for your suggestions on my page! These are some articles I thought you might want to take a look at. :)
http://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/3/5/555/htm
Jess JessBrewis (discuss • contribs) 05:02, 22 October 2014 (UTC)
==Comments=- Hey Brooke, just thought i would return the favour because you provided some really useful links on my page. i have to admit i was a little hesitant that you would not have a whole lot to talk about becauase i guess i had never made the association between mood and dehydration before. But i was pleasantly surprised on the amount of research i found. Here are the links to some of the articles i found http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0006322304011801 http://journals.cambridge.org/download.php?file=%2FBJN%2FBJN106_10%2FS0007114511002005a.pdf&code=13b98157c49d0b33799cf8f415584175 I was also wondering if you were going to focus on differences in gender, cause i noticed a great deal of research concerning that. I think i would be a good avenue to explore if you hadn't thought of doing that yet. Good luck Lucydiamond1008 (discuss • contribs) 05:15, 23 October 2014 (UTC) lucydiamond1008
Structure
editThe overall structure looks good. I would tend to concentrate mostly on theory and research pertaining to the relation between dehydration and mood. Introductory material about dehydration and mood should be provided, but these are not the main point of the chapter, so after explaining those concepts, link to other book chapters or Wikipedia articles which contain more indepth material about these separate concepts. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:17, 28 October 2014 (UTC)
Comments
editHey Brooke, I really enjoyed reading your wiki. I really liked how you made the information more interesting for the reader- such as the hydration quiz at the beginning. Maybe for the answers part of the quiz you could set it out in a more user friendly way. As in make the results a list and bold- so something like thisS: If you answered: MOSTLY A's: MOSTLY B's: MOSTLY C's:
A few other things I noticed that you could consider is actual sentence structure. For example 'Water is essential for survival, especially due to the fact that our bodies are made up of two-thirds of water. Humans are known to survive only three to five days without any fluid intake (Benton, 2011)'
This could be changed to: Two-thirds of our bodies are made up of water. Humans are known to stay alive only three to five days without any fluid intake (Benton, 2011) so it essential for our survival.
Maybe go through and see if you can change around some sentences to see if they sound better that way.
You could also cut down some sentences in half For example: Dehydration occurs when a person loses 1% or higher of body mass due to fluid loss and a loss of 2% or higher can lead to significant implications such as impaired cognitive function, decreases in physical performance, headaches and serious mood alterations.
Could change to: Dehydration occurs when 1% or higher of body mass drops due to fluid loss. A loss of 2% or higher can lead to significant implications such as impaired cognitive function, decreases in physical performance, headaches and serious mood alterations.
Spelling/typing errors 'Understanding dehydration' 2 % - should be 2% serve conditions - should be severe just run through the whole thing again and double check i'm assuming spell check didn't pick it up that's why you didn't see
I'm not sure if it will be a le to fit in word count or if you can even do a second quiz but have you considered a knowledge quiz at the end of your page? just a thought :)
Also, re-read you conclusion and see if you can find a another word to use instead of 'hopefully' as you used it twice between two sentences.
All the information was relevant and you presented it in a really interesting way. I think you used a perfect amount of sources too back it all up too. I don't drink enough water sometimes and I can see now how it can really affect my mood. Basically my comments are to run through a few more times just to tidy it up a bit (sentence structure, spelling errors etc.) other than that it's really great! Good luck!! :)
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-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:46, 3 November 2014 (UTC)
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-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:51, 8 December 2014 (UTC)