Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Cultural differences in emotion

Overall Feedback

The information itself is good and easy to read through, but I would definitely add in some images, or a table. You can edit some of the information into the coloured boxes to break up the text. It might be useful to add in a small table to highlight the differences between collectivist and individualistic cultures, kind of a collectivist vs individualistic list. Just another way to break up the text. It might also be useful to use some specific examples of cultural differences, or cite some supportive studies? Your moodle post said you weren't 100% done though, so good luck with finishing up! U3068280 (discuss • contribs) 11:09, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Help on page layout

Hi, I have put in a title for you and placed the table of contents in the right area, hope all is going well and good luck on the rest of your chapter AGH BMW (discuss • contribs) 09:24, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Suggestions

-You should try adding some hyperlinks; find the key words, authors, theories and hyperlink them by clicking the slink image in the tool bar and pasting the link to the meaning of the work and rename it.

-Some images would help break up all your information here is an example.

-Find some other book chapter that discuss culture and emotions and anything that you think readers will be interested in.

-After you have done these things your word count will increase a small amount at least :):)

Figure 1. Differing cultures.

--Jessiek86 (discuss • contribs) 09:16, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Suggestions and edits

Hi

I've just corrected some of your headings - they only have the first word & proper nouns in caps in wikis. I also corrected one of the spellings - it had corrected to the US spelling. Be cautious with this one, spell check may correct it but it's in the unit outline that Aust spelling is required!

Also, I corrected Eckman to Ekman - I'm pretty sure that is right. Here's the wikipedia link for him so you can hyperlink it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Ekman

I'm not sure you need the 'cited in' for this one: Mesquita, et. al (sited in Mesquita & Walters, 2002). Also, if you use et al don't forget there is always a full stop after al (al.).

If you're looking for areas to expand on I think you could elaborate on this: Most research has investigated the importance of culture and it’s affect on the potential for emotions, with some research identifying the potential for various cultures to recognise several facial expressions in similar ways. You could talk about what emotions are acceptable in which cultures in a bit more detail - where the differences lay. What happens if that cultural norm is broken? I imagine that in itself would differ between cultures. For example, it's not uncommon in some European countries for women in mourning to loudly express grief, whereas most Australian's wouldn't behave like that, and I suspect even fewer Japanese!

You could put some case studies in - you could even use the example above, not necessarily expanding on it - just pointing out the differences.

I noticed you've got 4 points for factors in cultural differences, though you've only got 1 expanded below (antecedent events). This is prob just because you haven't finished yet - but thought I'd mention you may need to expand on the others just in case!

Also, you've described an antecedent event as something that can trigger an emotion. I think antecedent actually refers to something happening before something. Maybe you meant to say 'refers to the situation that happens before and emotion and triggers the emotional response'.

A number of your paragraphs are quite long. It might be worth going through and separating them out - the bigger the paragraph the blockier it looks and they often end up having a number of little topics within them that can be broken down - eg, they will often have an intro, definition of the term/title, evidence (research) supporting idea, then a little concl.

I noticed you don't have a lot of references in your chapter (eg you don't have any under Defining emotion). You just not have put them in yet, but you'll be surprised how many words they take up. It might be worth getting them in and having a look at your word count.

I'd also suggest putting in some case studies (which are relatively quick and easy) to apply some of your info, and some quizzes as well. If you're worried about the syntax for these you can just open someone else's page, click edit and copy theirs - then just put your words in :)

You've got some really interesting info in there, and it's an easy read :)

Chelsi CFD (discuss • contribs) 12:14, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Some suggestions

Hi, I think your chapter is looking really good and is visually appealing. I noticed under external links it looks like you may have put where you have your contributions to other chapters. Under external links we are meant to put links to relevant (non-wiki) websites that would be relevant to your topic. Contributions are meant to be recorded on the user page. Other than than, I think your chapter is in really good shape. Cdrake2014 (discuss • contribs) 14:12, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Overall Well done! Structure and content The flow is logical, however the transition between ideas is not always fluid. The conclusion was a useful addition. Theory and research is included, but is rarely referred to directly. Communication Communication is generally clear. The voice-over is well paced. A few more rehearsals may have been beneficial to make the delivery more smooth. Slides include too much text - try to use dot points, rather than blocks of text. Illustrative examples would be beneficial. Production quality Basic tools are used competently. Audio quality is good, however the cutting in and out is slightly off-putting and there is slight variability in volume. Image quality could be improved. The text is too small and difficult to read. ShaunaB - Talk

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a solid chapter. For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below. Theory Theory is well covered. More emphasis could be placed on theory that explains the relation between culture and emotion. One or more case studies could help to provide examples. Research A limited range of useful studies were cited; more could be included and described in more detail When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Some statements were unreferenced - see the tags Written expression Written expression was reasonable; greater use could be made of the potential of the Wikiversity environment. Avoid directional referencing e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned The quality of written expression could be improved where clarification templates have been added to the page. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. Layout Some Figures were used effectively; more could be added Learning features The text could become more interactive by including interwiki links. Spelling, grammar and proofreading Use Australian spelling e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise APA style The reference list is not in complete APA style. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. Check APA style for direct quotes. Check APA style for table captions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:02, 27 November 2014 (UTC)