Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2011/Leaving home

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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I really like the colours you have picked for your box and I am looking forward to reading this chapter when you have finished Noodles&Wedges 08:33, 3 November 2011 (UTC) Very interesting topic especially because I still live at home and will do so until I'm 25 (so another 4 years). I stay because of youth allowance and because mum cooks my food. I think the points you have made at the bottom for the child and the parents to consider is a great idea. It's good to know someone else had to cut back their words. It's difficult but gets rid of the excess that is not needed. Congrats on a interesting and helpful chapter. Also, thank you for commenting on my chapter. I could not find the image that you were referring to above pair 3, could just be your browser. And I have left the border as lime green, but thank you for your input. Noodles&Wedges 04:09, 6 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Hey, good topic! I'll def be back to check it out once it's finished. Something you could talk about in the social/cultural sections (if you can find any research on it!) is about how it's more of a tradition for students in countries like America to move away for college and move out of home, and I don't think that's really a big trend here in Australia? Something i'd be interested to find out about. Good luck with the rest! Tashc 09:41, 3 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Another hot topic at the moment. More people are staying at home and i hear so many reasons why, its really cool to see why in terms of motivation and as i am doing self-efficacy as a book chapter i love seeing efficiacy involved :-) EamesA 00:03, 4 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

I love how you've included practical applications, and places you can contact for assistance. Great idea! You're chapter looks great! A-bryant 15:17, 5 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

This chapter is really direct and easy to read. and it flows very well. great job in covering the theory first, and then making practical notes at the end. Good Work Atice 01 12:17, 6 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 19:09, 3 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Editing tip - Paragraph length

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In general, aim to communicate one idea per paragraph, in three to five sentences. Some of the paragraphs in this resource may be too short (one sentence?) or too long (more than 5 sentences?).

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 19:31, 3 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Thanks James, yeah I am aware that some of the paragraphs are to long, at the moment I am over the word count and now have to cut a lot of words. The one to two sentances in the practical applications, is so people can quickly read an idea about what to do, and if they want more information, read about it more in the text, Should I still change this? . Mlac 00:18, 4 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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I.REID - 4/11/2011

As depicted below, young people are more likely to be living with their parents, with now almost one in four people between the ages of 20-34 living at home compared to only 19% of the same demographic doing so in 1986 (ABS, 2009). Likely cause? Housing prices maybe? Overall looking pretty good, have you considered maybe creating a graph in excel to illustrate the People Aged 20-34: Moving out of trend?

If anything I think this article might need a few more pictures.

Also organisation of paragraphs might be improved slightly.

A psychological explanation to why some adults stay at home longer:

Folllowed by

Self-efficacy Attachment Theory Self-determination Theory

Thanks for suggestion, I might create a graph later. Unfortunately I have no more words to added a Psychological explanation. Oh and I have now added some pictures. Mlac 14:26, 5 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for your chapter. As a parent with both children (and their partners) living with me, I can relate to much of the chapter first-hand. Thankfully we all get along and the pooling of resources helps pay our way thru Uni (psychologically and financially). I found the 'case study' amusing and the 'help details' potentially useful. Sad thing is, I'll miss them when they all move out - sort of!Crazydaisy 05:35, 6 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Comment by Magnolia - very interesting stories from Italy - it would be interesting to do an entire book on this topic and get stories from around the world - well done with your chapter

Sources

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--Flow 05:56, 4 November 2011 (UTC)It would be worthwhile referencing your sources. I'm referring to the ABS table you have inserted mainly but also noted that you have written a case study based on a BBC news article - not sure whether this is something online or published in a newspaper but I a suggestion would be more clearly referencing this source.Reply

Great chapter by the way! All the best

Changed that, thanks for suggestion, didn't notice i hadn't referenced it correctly, took me ages to do the references and probably just got distracted at that point :)Mlac 14:25, 5 November 2011 (UTC)Reply

Very interesting stories from Italy - it would be interesting to do an entire book on this topic and get stories from around the world - well done with your chapter - Magnolia


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall comments
    1. This chapter embraces the self-help objective of the assignment and describes the main relevant theories. Areas for improvement include written expression and extension of theoretical considerations in conjunction with the scope of research.
  1. Theory comments
    1. This chapter mentions the main motivational theories applicable to leaving/staying at home. However, the theoretical discussion could be expanded (with less discussion of global and social trends), including, for example:
      1. Domestic skill aspects of self-efficacy (briefly mentioned in the practical help parents can provide, but isolated from the theoretical context)
      2. Competence in relation to the challenge of leaving home and whether available feedback communicates success/failure.
      3. Relatedness in terms of the relationships involved.
      4. Further discussion of autonomy-supportive styles.
  1. Research comments
    1. The statistics and case study set up the topical relevance of this chapter – the problem is well-contextualised and engaging.
    2. This section would be strengthened with greater integration of research throughout the theoretical discussion.
  1. Written expression comments
    1. Quotes are well used to garner interest from the beginning.
    2. The introduction seems to launch into describing theory before setting up the topic.
    3. Written expression could be improved. There are a number of fragments and some omitted words, as well as grammatical errors and incorrect word use (e.g., effect/affect).
    4. Table footnotes are unclear, with asterisks and superscript (a) in the table, and only 1 bulleted footnote beneath.
    5. Learning features, such as images, tables, and quotes are well-utilised throughout the chapter.

Rfoster 03:11, 28 November 2011 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, but effective slide/bullet-point narrated audio.
  1. General introduction provides a useful entre to the topic.
  2. Maybe also overview the content which will be covered.
  3. The content is well-structured from a logical point of view; but perhaps could be broken out and presented in some different ways to heighten interest.
  4. Consider including a summary
  1. Audio pace is a bit on the fast side. Allow some more time between sentences and slide to help readers' comprehension.
  2. Slides are basic bullet-point text
  3. Consider using more examples.
  4. Consider using images.
  5. Consider using greater tonal variation to heighten interest and attention.
  1. Audio quality is clear
  2. Slides are basic text, but easy to read
  3. Provide a link to the book chapter
  4. Consider releasing the presentation under a Creative Commons license

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:17, 10 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

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