Latest comment: 13 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.
Overall, this a borderline P-level chapter. Establishing clear focus questions, relating the content to emotion theory, and paying more attention to proofreading and APA style are the main suggestions for improvement.
When describing important research findings, try to indicate the size of effects rather than simply whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
The chapter could have benefited from a more developed introduction, with clear focus questions. Getting comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped with this aspect.
Some paragraphs were overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
Avoid one sentence paragraphs
Some of the bullet-points should have been in full paragraph format.
Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
Learning features
No images were used (one that was used didn't have copyright details supplied, so it was deleted)
Wiki-links would be helpful.
A conclusion or summary section would be helpful.
Spelling, grammar and proofreading
Many sentences were not grammatically correct e.g.,
Some sentences should be two separate sentences e.g., "Sex is important within society, it is innate and we are biologically programmed to want and need it."
"It is important to understand the emotions involved in sex and this chapter will look at the emotions involved in first time sexual intercourse and acts of sex thereafter, how emotions differ between the genders while engaging in sex."
There were a lot of typographical and proofreading errors (see my edits for examples)
APA style
Check APA style for how to do in-text citation e.g., Everaerd, 1988 -> Everaerd (1988) - also, is the author's name spelt correctly?
Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
In-text citations should be in alphabetical order
When there are three or more authors, subsequent citations should use et al. e.g., Smith, Bush and Western (2001) and then in the next paragraph cite Smith et al. (2001).
Do not cite the year for subsequent citations within a paragraph e.g., Smith (2010) but after that in the same paragraph only refer to Smith.
