A course in troll sockpuppets/Interview with a female troll
In response to criticisms that this course is male dominated, we located a female troll who agreed to be interviewed. Following is a transcript of the chat.
- Durova: Hi, thanks for coming.
- Krystal: Thank you so much for inviting me. It's wonderful to be here.
- Durova: So female trolls do exist?
- Krystal: Oh yes. I'll send you my picture.
- Durova: And you're typical?
- Krystal: Well, I'm female.
- Durova: You don't look like a troll in this picture.
- Krystal: That's because I'm wearing my new Wonderbra. Do you think it fits?
- Durova: Very...flattering...
- Krystal: I'm lonely. Are you lonely too?
- Durova: But I'm female.
- Krystal: Oh that's great! I prefer girls.
- Durova: This is just an interview. So how do you troll?
- Krystal: No, I'm not a troll at all.
- Durova: But you are a sockpuppet?
- Krystal: This is my main account. I posed for a nude photo shoot last week and can't figure out which are the best pictures. Would you help choose?
- Durova: So if you're not a troll and you're not a sockpuppet, why did you agree to this interview?
- Krystal: I need someone to talk to. Would you send me your picture?
- Durova: Let's keep this on a professional level.
- Troll: Hahahahahaha! You sick loser. Hey, those pics I sent you had a virus. My own creation. You'll never get rid of it.
Instructor's note: it remains to be seen whether any actual female trolls exist.
Instructions
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1. The basis for the female troll is a child's peach colored sock. Add a moderate amount of pillow filling to get a sense for the shape of the troll's head. Use that to size yarn for long blonde hair.
2. The female troll fits over the male troll's hand: one sockpuppet operates another. So fit the child's sock over the troll arm and adjust pillow stuffing to give the sock a basic puppet shape.
3. Cut ends of the hair and stitch into place with matching thread. To reinforce and prevent slippage, secure hair to scalp with a thin line of glue adjacent to the stitching.
4. Take a contrasting color sock the same size as the puppet sock and cut at the base of the ribbing. If desired, hem the cut end with elastic.
5. Fit the 'sweater' over the puppet, adding pillow stuffing for cleavage.
6. Create a pink female symbol and bend to puppet chest contours. Sew into place.
7. Sew buttons for eyes. Glue googly eyes over buttons.
8. Create a necklace of gold tone embroidery floss and size G glass beads. Three beads were used for this puppet, knotted to keep them at the front of the puppet. Attach a clasp if the puppet will be reused often.
9. Round off the head by folding down and stitching corners to head countour at back.
10. Cut pink felt to create lips. The lower lip on this puppet was glued into place. The upper lip was sewn.