Talk:Controversies in Science/Water fluoridation

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Wilhelmina Will in topic Comment

Comment edit

The layout for the information on this controversy appears pretty good for the most part, but in some places I think the grammar could be improved. I refer in particular to this text from the "Points against" column:

A Decrease in IQ Levels

The children IQ levels decreased by 5 to 10 points when compared to those with high concentrations of fluoride and low concentrations of fluoride[8].

I understand that the point intended by this statement is that children exposed to high concentrations of fluoride appear to have lower IQs, on average, than those not exposed to the fluoride, but it is difficult to draw this from the sentence because of its wording. Might I suggest the following alternative format?

A Decrease in IQ Levels

When compared to children exposed to low concentrations of fluoride, the IQ levels of those exposed to high concentrations decrease by 5-10 points.[8]

I have included the text of the citation in the revised statement because, from my experience copyediting Wikipedia articles during the Copyediting backlog elimination drives, it is customary to include a citation after the punctuation mark concluding a sentence, or a piece of a sentence. Wilhelmina Will 01:42, 25 January 2012 (UTC)Reply

Although, I'm against the idea of water fluoridation, I am left wondering how these scientists arrived at the conclusion that there are fewer people with caries in the population and how they were able to reduce the number of caries without adding fluoride to our water.

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