Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/General strain theory, crime, and delinquency

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Social contribution

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Hi there! this is a really great book chapter so well done. I have linked an interetsing article that you might enjoy! https://doi-org.ezproxy.canberra.edu.au/10.1037/a0031434 --U3202324 (discusscontribs) 06:08, 24 October 2020 (UTC)Reply

Definition

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Hi there, I was just wondering if you have thought about giving a brief definition of what you mean by crime or illegal behaviour? Maybe a focus box or in the overview? U3191761 (discusscontribs) 06:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title and sub-title

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  1. Very good
  2. Minor grammatical error fixed (missing serial comma)

User page

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  1. Very good
  2. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.

Social contribution

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  1. Very good - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence.

Section headings

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  1. Strong overall plan

Key points

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  1. Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations.
  2. APA style uses down style capitalisation, so refer to general strain theory or GST rather than General Strain Theory
  3. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. an image
    2. an example or case study
  4. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  5. Consider including more examples/case studies.

Image

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  1. Very good
  2. Caption
    1. uses APA style
    2. expanded to better match the text
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References

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  1. Good
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. Rename links so that they are more user friendly
    2. Include source in brackets after link
    3. User internal link to Wikipedia pages (see Tutorial 1)
  2. External links
    1. Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:42, 20 September 2020 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. Overview lacks development.
  3. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter.
  4. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. Basic but sufficient coverage of relevant theory is provided.
  2. The Ms My-Yen Tran case study was underdeveloped - no crime was mentioned?
  1. Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of research.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  4. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is basic.
    2. Remove unnecessary bolding.
    3. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    4. "People" is often a better term than "individuals"; similarly "participants" is preferred to "subjects".
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    3. Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
    4. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    5. Excellent use of image(s).
    6. No use of table(s).
    7. Good use of feature box(es).
    8. No use of quiz(zes).
    9. Good use of case studies or examples.
  3. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and make correct use of commas.
    3. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[1].
  4. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    2. Check and correct capitalisation (e.g., gst -> GST).
    3. Replace double spaces with single spaces.
  5. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need double quotation marks and page numbers.
    2. Figures and tables
      1. Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation).
    3. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either:
        1. in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or
        2. in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020)
    4. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Retrieved from is not used for APA style 7th ed.
      2. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      3. Check and correct use of italicisation.
  1. ~4 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:26, 12 November 2020 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a very good presentation.
  1. There is too much content within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to do a small amount well than a large amount poorly.
  2. The presentation is well structured.
  3. The presentation makes very good use of theory.
  4. The presentation makes little use of research.
  5. The presentation makes very good use of one or more examples or case studies.
  6. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
  7. The localised help info isn't needed; target an international audience.
  1. The presentation visuals are fun dnad easy to follow.
  2. The presentation audio is harder to follow because it is too fast.
  3. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  5. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  1. The video is very well produced.
  2. The sub-title is missing in both the video title and on the opening slide - this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio recording quality was excellent.
  4. Visual display quality was excellent.
  5. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  7. A link to the book chapter is provided but it goes to a specific section rather than the top of the page.
  8. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  9. A basic written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:16, 20 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

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