Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Anxiety and school refusal

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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Hi,

Your chapter is coming along nicely, just a suggestion perhaps you could discuss the implications anxiety due to not wanting to attend school has on student grades? --u3081348


Hey, your chapter look pretty good so far, i was just thinking maybe you could add some sub-headings to separate up the sections and make it easier for the reader to get to the section they want to look at. Good luck on finishing up !!

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:48, 26 November 2015 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a minimal but sufficient chapter.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  1. Theory coverage is basic.
  2. In the Overview, establish why the topic is important.
  3. Addition of case studies or additional examples could be helpful.
  1. Research
  2. What is the prevalence of school refusal?
  3. What is the relationship school refusal and age?
  4. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  5. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
  6. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  1. Written expression
    1. Write in third person rather than first person (e.g., "we")
    2. Direct quotes are over-used and don't demonstrate any understanding by the author - create unique text.
    3. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    4. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    5. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page).
  2. Layout
    1. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
    2. Basic use of images.
    3. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Learning features
    1. The chapter makes some use of interwiki links to relevant Wikipedia articles - also incorporate links to related book chapters.
    2. The chapter makes excellent use of interwiki links to other book chapters and to relevant Wikipedia articles.
    3. Add Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive.
    4. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
    5. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added - these only need to be added on first mention of a keyword; use plain text for the keyword subsequently.
    6. The chapter provides an excellent range of relevant links to other Wikiversity pages.
    7. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement.
  4. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise).
  5. Grammar and proofreading
    1. Check and correct use of commas (e.g., "For example" -> "For example, ")
  6. APA style
    1. Add APA style captions to tables and figures.
    2. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations.
    3. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    4. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:48, 26 November 2015 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.
  1. Theory is well covered.
  2. There is room/scope to review key research.
  3. Include citations about evidence for claims.
  4. Take-home messages were helpful.
  1. Audio is clear and well-paced.
  2. Visuals are clear and generally easy to read - be careful of using colours that are difficult to read e.g., red.
  1. Full title used.
  2. Fix the book chapter link - it goes to chocolate eating.
  3. Description field includes a brief summary. Also include link back to the book chapter, presentation license details, and possibly image attributions and references).
  4. The copyright licenses and sources for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images.
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides).
  6. No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 14:02, 26 November 2015 (UTC)Reply

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